Apprentice
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Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

They get up to leave, and Trump -- who really ought to know better -- wishes him luck. Here we fucking go. "If you mean it," Markus fnurs. "I don't think you do." George is like, "Bitch said what?" but Trump thinks it's hilarious. "It's been a railroad from the beginning," says Markus. "A railroad?" asks Trump, obligingly. "Yeah, it has." Carolyn looks at him like Martha Stewart would look at a wet rainboot on her floor. "Markus," Trump stupidly tries again, "you talk too long, too much, and you say the wrong things." Markus disagrees and starts to explain how Trump has no way of knowing that, and Trump's finally like, "Okay whatever Markus, just leave. I think you're a nice guy." Markus babbles all the way out the door, but at least he leaves without security getting involved.

Adam boards the elevator, where Clay stands menacingly, then hisses out at Adam, "Don't talk to me." Upstairs, Clay leads the way back to the suite pulling his little orange rolling suitcase, then slams the door open crazily. Adam comes up nervously from behind, and I about freak out because I cannot freaking wait for the conclusion and unending aftermath of this stuff next week. Hissy in the hizzy!

Markus tools onto the elevator as Trump and the Viceroys reiterate the points they just made, and then downstairs, the doorman is relieved that Markus passes him with just a nod. In the Crazy Taxi, Markus says these things: "I think that the team took advantage of my ideas the the the the people you know [silence] see how to say it [silence, cut to exterior of cab to show passage of time, silence] you know the you know the I mean you know it's I uh speak intelligently and I speak to the point I speak to the details and I do feel I do go into detail and uh I tried to step up and do the right thing and um I'm I you know where when you've done all you can do where do you go from there I don't have a clue."

Heard that, good buddy. Good luck.

Ha! I totally didn't mean that! Actually, and I mean this in a nice way, I do hope that one day he fails badly enough to notice, because I think that's his one chance of getting it together in any way. There's always a chance, mister.

If Randal and Marshawn -- and even Trump, this week -- have taught us anything, it's this: Get To The Point. Figure out the point, and then get there. For Markus, this problem is endemic. For the Sex At Work presentation, it was the fatal flaw: no point, no clear way to get there. Even Adam could have wrapped that shit up in five seconds if he'd gotten to the point faster. But keep in mind that the point is never, ever going to be talking about sex with Donald Trump, because that's the one place nobody is ever going to want to go. And sadly, now we've all been there. See what happens when you go off-message? See the damage you can cause? See the lives simply going off-topic can destroy? Learn, if you can, from what happened here tonight.

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Apprentice

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