Apprentice
Back To School

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Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

Randal runs with the conversation to an area of "Standing Up" and "Making Your Mark." They immediately start brainstorming in earnest, excited about standing out in "a variety of contexts," and Rebecca complains that "teaching people how to feel good about themselves...that's like for the experts." Experts like Marshawn and Randal? And Marshawn? She interviews that Randal's choice of concept will rest on his shoulders -- like the wreath of laurels that will soon be resting on his crown -- and then we see Brian and Rebecca giggling dismissively and alone, like giant prats.

That night, Adam's working hard. The ideas that he likes best -- crushes on co-workers, chivalry, and gossip -- are the most nonsexual of the list, I'm assuming. Felisha's more interested in the gossipy "When it happens, you can handle it with class," while Clay loves the vague "ethics" of it all. Because apparently after "sex in the office," there is still a possible discussion of "ethics" apart from: don't. Alla's most interested in the aftermath of office affairs, and the gender split double-standard discussion it implies. I'm with Alla and Adam -- although given what's going to happen, I think he could stand to lobby a little less for the whole "crush on a co-worker" thing. And Markus? Here's Markus's research focus: "There's a lot of information, that is, what I'm seeing here is a common thread with everything is I can read this more in-depth and come up with a great deal more information." Sexy! And oh so topical!

Adam's like, "So -- just so we're clear -- at this point that's...all you have?" A reading on how much information there is in this world? Markus gets just amazingly pissy throughout this entire part, because he's Markus: "No, I'm not done -- I'm close to being done…" Adam wonderfully bottom-lines it for us: "When Markus is talking, it's like jamming a lot of random words together, and calling it a sentence. It has no meaning." Back on the couch, Markus's next idea for a topic having to do with sex at work: "I love meeting people." Seeing this as a preamble to some more crazy, but not wanting to seem insensitive to Markus's craziness, Clay murmurs sweetly, "I know you do." Markus gets outrageously bitchy at this, for some reason, and starts blustering about how "let's just be serious" for a second because "we're all professionals." Now, I have no doubt that there are some editing hijinks going on here, because I'm positive we haven't seen a tenth of the dicking around of Markus that's been going on all night, but it does come off as rather surreal when he flips out. Adam's like, "Okay, so like...what's the point?" And this is what pushes Markus over the edge. He's incredibly angry now, like, more angry than we've seen him yet, and Alla just stares as Markus, having taken huge offense at such a bizarre request, hisses, "Adam, quit. Take the leash off me, just relax...I'M SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THIS [constant harassment to get to the point] AND I WOULD BE DONE [otherwise]." Total lie, Markus. Total lie.

Adam is somewhat taken aback, but still keeps his cool, and takes Markus aside again. Off behind a screen, Adam levels with Markus: "To be completely honest, you had the least research." Again. Also, you could substitute "research" here with almost any word other than "hot air" or "bullshit," and still come out on top. Markus is totally condescending and instructive, like Adam's crazy, awful uncle, as he explains the following totally related and constructive concept: "You know what though, my friend? What you're going to find out in the end? Okay, I think what you're going to discover by the time this task is over [is], I ain't going to be the fly in your ointment, I'm not going to be your problem. Everybody has their own style and I'm not going to be out of control and talking for an hour." Adam, shocked into submission by the total insult -- not just to him personally, but also against, like, logic -- implied in demeanor and content here, mumbles, "Okay?" And again, Markus is enraged by the interruption. "JUST HEAR ME OUT. LET ME TALK." He comes off insane. He comes off completely out of control. He's a fly in the ointment of God.

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Apprentice

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