Joan of Arcadia
Bringeth It On

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Gossipy Girl turns around and asks Joan if her father found the baby. Grace drops her head on the desk on exasperation. Joan says no. Gossipy Girl: "But he saw it. Was it all bloody?" Grace: "Will you shut up? She's not a police blotter." Gossipy Girl sneers: "Sor-reee! Didn't mean to bother your girlfriend." She turns around haughtily. Grace looks at Joan to see her reaction; Joan just gives Grace an apathetic glance. Back in Luke's group, Nerdy Blonde takes off her goggles and asks who wants a copy of the science fair application. It's not supposed to be available for weeks, but she "hacked in." Go, Blondie. She says excitedly that it looks like they're accepting partnerships this year. Luke asks when it is. I'm not sure I believe he doesn't know. Blondie and Friedman answer in unison: "First Friday in January." She says it will be a "total feeding frenzy," and asks Luke if he wants to partner with her. Luke hesitates, and she says, "I'm doing single-bubble sonoluminescence. It's the transformation of sonic waves into photons." Luke still hems and haws, so she adds, "I'm gonna need a pro." He asks if he can think about it. Obviously hurt, she says, "Sure. Yeah." She leaves to get the barium carbonate.

Grace gets up and walks to the Snooty McHeadband's place in front of her with a small beaker, saying, "This is sulfuric acid. If it reacts with your substance, that means it's baking soda." She pours it into a tube in front of Snooty. It fizzes and spills over while Snooty tsks and sighs. Grace: "Interesting how something corrosive can tell you what something's made of. Kind of like using 'gay' as an all-purpose insult." She goes back to her desk.

Friedman asks Luke, "Are you insane? Glenys Figliola wants to turn sound into light with you." Luke says he might want to work alone. Friedman: "Dude." Luke reacts impatiently: "You keep saying that! What does that mean?" Friedman says, "Nothing, man."

Grace gets back into her seat, and Joan says, "You're, like, my hero." Grace stares at her hands and says, "It's the one advantage to being universally despised. You get to say whatever you want." Adam adds, "Unchallenged."

Blue and grey tones, so we're at the police station. Lt. Williams is telling Will that they couldn't get any prints from the book bag, but the baby was wrapped in the kind of commercial paper towels you find in public spaces. Will: "Well, that narrows it down." They look at an onscreen map of the area where the baby was found, and Will remarks that the baby was found within a mile of two safe havens. Will asks, "Why not deposit the child there? What's wrong with this country? What use is the safe haven law when babies keep showing up in the garbage?" Williams says that most mothers who abandon their babies are young girls, so either they're not familiar with the safe haven laws or, more likely, they're in deep denial: "It's not just a coping mechanism. It's clinical denial." Will doesn't say anything. Williams tells him she was trying to impress him with her psychological insight. He kind of chuckles and acknowledges her comments, adding, "Young girls...a book bag...institutional paper towels...what's that add up to?" Williams: "High school." They ask which one is closest, and Williams says it's Arcadia High: "But the birth happened on a Saturday night, so unless she broke into the school..." Will says there was a homecoming game on Saturday night. Williams says she'll get a unit out there. As she's leaving, she asks, "You have a kid at Arcadia, don't you, Chief?" Will: "Yeah, I do." Both Frink and I thought it was weird that he didn't say something along the lines of, "Two, actually." ["I thought the same thing." -- Sars] Will looks at the screen thoughtfully.

Outside the school, Joan walks up to a table where CeCe and Brianna are taking applications for cheerleader tryouts. CeCe asks Joan what she thinks most qualifies her to be a cheerleader. Joan hesitates and then offers, "Uh...I saw Bring It On." CeCe's all, "Oh my God, Bring It On is, like, The Matrix of cheerleader films!" Another applicant standing next to Joan says, "Those basket tosses were phenomenal." Grace happens to walk behind the table at this point and notices Joan standing there while all the girls are oozing with admiration for the film. Brianna: "Didn't you love Sparky Polastri? He was my favourite!" They all giggle and bond while Joan just stands there. CeCe goes on to explain, "So, following tryouts, you get an overall spirit score, based on appearance, personality, cheer and pom skills, tumbling and stunts. If you get twenty-five or higher, you come back tomorrow for finals. Okay?" During this, Joan looks up and sees Grace staring at her. Joan wonders, "And...what if I'm really...bad?" CeCe tells her not to worry, that they really need girls for the squad, since she and Brianna have been sidelined for poor grades. Then how come they're still running the tryouts? CeCe assures Joan she's going to do great, and slaps a team button or something on her. Joan glances at Grace again, who's got a look on her face like she's just been offered a big slice of maggot pie. She turns and walks away. Joan watches her go.

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Joan of Arcadia




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