Carpenter Street

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Carpenter Street

Quantum asks Loomis what his bloodthirsty employer looks like. Loomis admits he's never seen him, but he seems tall. I'll agree with that -- he's got a tall-sounding voice. Loomis then asks to be let go, since he promises never to steal people for their blood type again. "You are going to do it again," Quantum says, leaning over Loomis's shoulder from behind. "That is, if you have any hope of staying out of prison." Loomis is confused. Quantum waves a folder and introduces himself as "a healthy male with B-negative blood." T'Pol and Loomis both stare at Quantum.

Quantum drives T'Pol and a wrist-shackled Loomis in Loomis's car. Loomis suggests that if Quantum plans on being a specimen for awhile, he should have something to eat. Would you look at that? He's a down-and-out lowlife, but he still maintains a certain professionalism and dedication to his craft that you don't often find these days. "Be quiet," T'Pol suggests. Hee. "Come on, I'm not talking about anything fancy -- a burger, a taco. There's a drive-thru less than a mile from here. Cops gotta eat, don't they?" Loomis insists. Quantum and T'Pol don't say anything. "What is the matter with you two? I'll pay," Loomis offers. "I told you to be quiet," T'Pol repeats. Loomis just sits there. Finally, Quantum asks, "Which side of the street is it on?" Heh. They pull up to a "Burgerland" order board. Loomis orders a "double superbeef, no lettuce." Quantum gives him a look before carefully enunciating Loomis's order. "You can make that a triple for only forty cents extra!" the garbled voice sings back. "Do it," Loomis says, as though he were advising Quantum on matters of state. Quantum looks at Loomis but says, "A double will be fine." Heh -- no extra all-beef patty for Loomis today. The garbled voice wants to know if they'd like to make it a combo. Loomis decides that he doesn't like Quantum's decisions, so he leans over and says, "Yeah, fries and a root beer." The garbled voice asks if there will be anything else today. Quantum looks at the menu and orders "a hamburger, ketchup only." How boring. Although I have to admit that when I was a picky child that's the only way I would eat my McDonalds hamburger, and I'd make my mother scrape off the all tiny freeze-dried onions and pickles. Now? I wish I could buy those tiny freeze-dried onions in bulk. The garbled voice again sings out, "You can make that a double for only forty cents extra!" "No, thank you," Quantum says. "Would you like to make that a combo?" "No, no combo!" Again the garbled voice asks if they want anything else. Quantum looks at T'Pol who leans over and asks if the "Fiesta Salad" contains animal products. "No, but we can add three strips of bacon for only seventy-five cents!" the garbled voice carols. T'Pol gets a skeeved-out look on her face and says, "Nothing for me, thanks." Quantum asks if T'Pol is sure. "Quite," T'Pol says. I'd really be entertained to see them take on Starbucks. You know, she still could have had the salad without the bacon, but I suppose she lost her appetite at the mere thought of crispy, fat-dripping pork sizzling on her salad. Mmm, bacon. I like dipping it in syrup or putting it on sourdough toast spread with peanut butter and jelly.

They drive. Loomis messily gnaws at the burger he holds in both hands. "You guys don't mind, do you? I'm starving," he says, and adds that it would be easier if they untied his hands. "It's not like I'm going anywhere." Loomis slurps his root beer. I'm hungry now. "Do the best you can," Quantum orders. A piece of hamburger lands on T'Pol's thin thigh. "Uh-oh," Loomis says like Rain Man. "I told you -- let me get that for you," Loomis offers as T'Pol squirms. Loomis leans over but, without looking, T'Pol backhands him back into his place. Hee! That was great. "Oh boy," Loomis Rain Mans in reaction to the backhand. T'Pol picks up the morsel of meat between two fingers and flings it out the window. Quantum stifles a grin. "You're a veggie, I forgot," Loomis smacks another bite. "Why don't you take a fry -- they're probably okay," he offers. T'Pol looks askance at both Loomis and the fries. They're probably fried in animal fat. I know McDonald's veganed their act up, but that doesn't mean all fast-food places did. I'd be especially wary of the less than mainstream ones. Not that I'm all that worried about it -- it makes the fries taste amazing -- but other people have to think about things like that. "Have it your way," Loomis shrugs, bites his burger, and tosses back his greasy hair. Did Quantum even eat his burger? If he's not hungry, can I have it?

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