Amazing Race
Cheaters Never Win — And They Cheated!

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Again with the racing

And now a whole bunch of things happen in rapidly-edited succession. Chip and Reichen battle the cable bridge and the zip line with little difficulty. Russell and Cindy check in as team number eight. They display absolutely no reaction to this news. Reichen and Chip make it to the clue box and start the hike. Debra and IndianaSteve wind up tied with David and Jeff at the Detour box, and since both choose the Rescue (I'm thinking if I were Debra and Steve, I might have gone with the Search, just playing my odds), David and Jeff get out ahead and Debra and Steve are now in second-to-last place, ahead of only Tian and Jaree. Proving that the slender do their share of falling, David face-plants while they run to the Detour. And then, on the way to the Detour, IndianaSteve face-plants. And then Debra face-plants. Somehow, the music guys manage a flourish for all these falls. Nice. That should be the aptitude test when you apply to be a reality TV sound guy -- matching musical flourishes to people falling down. Tian and Jaree are just hopping out of their cab and getting onto the chair lift.

David and Jeff navigate the cable bridge and zip line. Steve and Debra struggle with the walk up the hill to the bridge. Once they get there, Steve does pretty well on the bridge. Nothing to complain about there. Debra, however, seems to sort of psych herself out, and indeed she voices over that she decided she couldn't look across or down, or she couldn't keep going. Debra's problem here, incidentally, is only marginally physical. If you look at her, she's scared out of her wits. Certainly, you could argue that if she were all Go To The Gym Lady, she might have more balance and so forth, but I would also point out that even a chubby lady may just be terrified when suspended on a cable a zillion feet in the air. In fact, I suspect what she really lacks is confidence in her ability to complete physical tasks, despite the fact that there's no reason she can't do this, and in fact? She's going to do it eventually. Tian and Jaree are coming up close behind as Debra slowly inches across the cable bridge. Tian glares at her with disgust. "I can't believe we got behind this slow team," she bitches. And how did they get there? By being slower than this "slow team," so they can just shut it.

Commercials. I don't care what they say. They'll never convince me that KFC chicken strips aren't made from cut-up Wonder Bread.

Back on the mountain, Debra remains paralyzed on the cable bridge. One of the models voices over that they were surprised to see Debra and Steve at the Detour, although it's not clear whether that's because she thought they wouldn't do the bridge, or because she thought they were farther ahead, or because she forgot that there were other teams, or what. Tian starts across the bridge behind Debra, which I'm surprised they would allow, considering that it doesn't seem particularly safe. Debra makes it all the way over to the end part of the bridge, but she's too scared to let go of the sides enough to climb up over the end. And now Jaree goes across also, so they both end up backed up right behind her. God, what kind of safety supervision do these people have? Next thing you know, Debra is climbing up off the bridge, and Tian is giving her a boost from behind. "Come on, let's go," she says. This all comes in the form of "help," but it's nothing but self-interest (and, of course, understandably so). When everybody clears the bridge, Debra still needs a moment, so the girls scurry past, with Tian apologizing for some reason. She has nothing to apologize for, really, but it's nice that she tossed that out.

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Amazing Race

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