Defending Your Life

Episode Report Card
admin: F | 2 USERS: D
Let the Hardy Boys Be Relinquished and Abandoned

The Only Synagogue In Dearborn, Michigan. The Ginormomoron tippy-toes into the rabbi's office, deploys a little more flashlight-fu to spot the shofar perched atop a cunning little stand on the far side of the rabbi's desk, and crosses to retrieve the thing just as the rabbi arrives to snap on the lights. D'OH! The rabbi eyes the enormous slab of trayf now taking up half his office and guesses, "You're not here for bar mitzvah lessons?" Wah. Wah. Waaaaaaah! "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Yes, yes, also that, Raoul.

Neal's. Barmaid Mia chats up an animated redhead. Nearby, Osiris glowers. I think he's wearing a Members Only jacket. DUN!

This Week's Motel Room. "You know I'd never do this," Dead Jo begins, circling Dreary El Deano to speak with him face-to-face. "You deserve better," she insists, looking very sad and tired, and while both Alona Tal and Jensen Ackles do lovely work in their scenes together from here on out, we never do get a decent explanation for Dead Jo's presence in this episode, so whatever.

Metallicar. Stupid Sammy speeds through the night with the shofar at his side. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Indeed.

This Week's Motel Room. Dead Jo and Dreary El Deano blather at each other about their Issues for a full eighty seconds of screen time, and then Dead Jo zips over to the kitchenette to open up all four gas burners on the stove. You know, to kill Dreary El Deano in a massive explosion just like the one that killed her, except for the part where Dead Jo actually died from Hellhound-inflicted trauma and blood loss, because this episode blows, and I want to die. DUN!

Neal's. The animated redhead emerges from the bar, alone, to totter off down the sidewalk on her wobbly heels. Nearby, Osiris lurks in the shadows. DUN!

This Week's Motel Room. Dead Jo zips back to Dreary El Deano's side. Then, just to prove that she's as stupid as everybody else in this hateful episode, she proceeds to shatter one of the windows with a bit of spectral telekinesis. Sure, she violates the salt circle thanks to the violent breeze now whipping through the room but, you know: It's awfully hard to blow someone up in a gas explosion when you ventilate all the fucking gas out of your little enclosed space. GOD!

Neal's. As the animated redhead teeters over to her car, Osiris attacks!

This Week's Motel Room. Dumb Dead Jo slides a hand into Dim Dean's jacket pocket to extract his trusty Zippo.

Neal's. The Ginormomoron jams his purloined shofar into Osiris's back. The supposed god's eyes glow neon blue, and he more or less mummifies right there on the spot before dropping out of sight beneath the frame.

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