Defending Your Life

Episode Report Card
admin: F | 2 USERS: D
Let the Hardy Boys Be Relinquished and Abandoned

...This Week's Motel Room, where he proposes a road trip back to that apple-barn courtroom with Warren. The murderous old coot freaks at the very idea of returning to the place of his recent torment, in the process revealing that the unquiet spirits of the liquor-store owner and his wife are out there waiting for him. Thus so faced with Warren's intransigence, Darling Sammy has little choice but to plant his temporary guest in a chair in the center of the room, around which he lays down a thick circle of salt. Sam then hands Warren the TV's remote, instructs the guy not to move from the salt circle's protective confines until he returns, and exits to fax Bobby a copy of the murderous old coot's scribblings.

Neal's. Dean enters, gets body-checked by a just-passing douchebag, sarcastically snarls, "Excuse me!" and decides he likes the looks of the place. He quickly decides he likes the looks of the place even more when Barmaid Mia, a toothsome bleach-blonde with twinkling eyes and an easy manner, saunters on over with a sunny, "What can I get ya?" "Scotch and soda, hold the soda," Dean annoyingly replies, "and make it a double." Barmaid Mia complies, and as she pours out his cocktail, Dean gruffly begins the interrogation with, "You work the night shift?" "Why -- plan on making this a regular thing?" she expertly lobs back with a perfectly arched brow, and with that one artful little line reading, Barmaid Mia has become the most interesting person in this entire dreadful episode. I realize that's not saying much, but trust me: I've become instantly smitten with her moxie. Dean has also become instantly smitten with Barmaid Mia's moxie -- not to mention her tits -- but he sticks to business for the moment and LIES, claiming he's a cop who needs to ask her a few questions. Barmaid Mia looks him up and down for one very long moment, then decides, "I believe ya -- you look like you've seen some crap," before getting all efficiently professional and such while apologizing, as she's been gone all week, but if Dean would like to speak with the substitute bartender...? Dean would rather get blotto, thank you very much, and he quickly slugs back his first double to order another. Meanwhile, the camera goes to great lengths to include that body-checking douchebag in the close blurry foreground of the next shot, so we know he's the Egyptian god promised us by all of this evening's promos. However, we're still not sure if Barmaid Mia's acting as Osiris's accomplice at the moment, and for some bizarre reason, that makes her all the more interesting to watch, especially as she obviously has something going on upstairs. Or maybe she's actually thicker than two planks nailed together, and I'm just far too accustomed to the regular band of drooling, harebrained halfwits who populate this show to make proper distinctions anymore. I can't decide.

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