Real World - Road Rules Challenge
End Game

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End Game

The next set of jumpers goes up in the plane. For RW, it's Kat, Annoying and Teck. For RR, it's Dan, Holly and Piggy. An instructor tells Piggy that if she's not nervous at the door, she's not human. Holly tells us that Piggy is going to go first because the "jump masters" decided that since she is the most worried, it would be best for her to go first. We see a shot of Piggy looking like she's about to throw up. Piggy is out of the plane first, followed by Teck and Holly. Piggy lands perfectly, and gets fifty points. Kat lands next, and ends up with zero points, but she doesn't get hurt, and she says she's really proud of herself. Aw, we're proud of you too, Kat! Holly comes down next and ends up with twenty-five. She says she wanted the hundred points, but that it was "a beautiful ride. Unreal." Teck comes in next, and dangling from his parachute, he looks like a stick figure tied to a handkerchief. Like, you know when you were little and you used to tie army guys to napkins and throw them off the roof as if they were parachuting? That's what Teck looks like. He comes in very nicely and ends up with seventy-five points. Veronica congratulates him and says, "You almost got it!" which could probably be construed as gloating, but I'm going to leave it at that. Dan comes in next and he has a perfect landing on the bulls-eye for a hundred points. He didn't even fall onto his knees or his butt or anything. It was amazing. Holly, of course, practically rapes him right there on the target, like back off, stalker. Heather gives Dan a hug, which Dan says he has "been waiting for this whole trip". I took that to mean that Heather was pretty competitive throughout the trip, and didn't always want to socialize with the RR team outside of the missions, so Dan is happy that Heather was able to put the competition aside, finally. Heather is also clutching a Bible, which I found kind of heart-warming for some reason, even though I'm not particularly religious. Maybe it was just nice to see someone on the show who is religious, but didn't try to use it as an excuse to get out of missions. Hey, this is my last chance ever to get to make fun of Annoying, so I've got to get all my digs in while I can. The last to land is Annoying, so you know there's going to be a drama of some kind. Something happens with the wind and Annoying starts coming down way too fast, and ends up pitching forward onto the ground and hitting her head. The camera crews catch it from two different angles and replay it in slow motion twice. We hear a voice-over saying, "Someone call an ambulance!" that sounds like they dubbed it in later in the studio. Heather runs over and tells Annoying not to move and to squeeze her hand, and we go to commercial wondering if Annoying is paralyzed or worse! How dramatic! How much were the producers thanking their lucky stars that someone actually got hurt? Then again, with Annoying around, it's not as if it's unlikely.

When we get back from commercial, Annoying is lying on the ground on her back and crying, and she says, "It hurts a little." There's about ten paramedic types around her, and one says the pain is due more to the position she's lying in than anything else. They load her onto a stretcher and into the ambulance, and someone tells her he doesn't think anything is broken. Veronica tries to appear sympathetic when she says her team's victory was bittersweet, and they're not celebrating as much as they probably should because someone got hurt. They're still doing plenty of celebrating, I notice. Heather says that she's happy that everyone is safe. Gladys presents the car keys to the RR team, and a graphic shows that the final point tally of this mission was RW 145 to RR 275. Veronica tells everyone to pick a key, and they all run off to their new cars. There's a really cute shot of Piggy sitting behind the wheel and just honking the horn carefully with her eyebrows raised. Veronica calls someone, presumably her boyfriend, to tell him she did it. Members of the RW team hug members of the RR team while Kat says the RR team worked really hard and deserve their victory, and she's happy for them, and even manages to sound sincere. Dan babbles on and on about what a great day it is while conveniently holding a bottle of Citra. I notice no one is actually drinking the Citra, but instead are spraying it on one another as if it were champagne. I've never had it, but maybe Citra tastes like Shitra. Sorry, I've been dying to make that joke all season.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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