Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 1 USERS: A+
Titty By Committee

Bo drinks deeply from his Bovine University mug. Lex says that holier-than-thou is an easy position to fall back on. It keeps you from examining those around you. Bo grouses that he's known Luke Duke for twenty-five years and never had a more loyal or trustworthy friend. That's only because the cows don't live that long. Bo speechifies that the state needs someone who does what's right and stands up for America and drives an SUV with lots of yellow ribbons on it that read, "Support the troops!" Lex looks away as if burned by holy water. Bo steps forward and says that the state needs people willing to go up against people like Lex. Lex takes his own steps forward and tells Bo that if he knows his friend so well, maybe he should ask his "good old boy" about this. Lex takes out some folded pieces of paper and throws them on the kitchen table. Ask him about the great paper scandal! The raping of trees! The pressing of cheap sheets! It's bigger than Watergate! Bo picks up the papers. Lex says that he decided to do his own investigation after Clark's visit. It's Luke's phone records, with multiple calls to Metropolis highlighted. He's been calling Paula Abdul! Oh, wait, it's the dead stripper's phone number. Whoa. This could be bigger than the recent paper scandal! Bo pees his pants a little. Lex turns to walk away. Bo asks when Lex is releasing this. "I'm not," says Lex, hovering at the door, "but if I found it, you know the press won't be far behind." I remember a time when it was exciting to hear Lex say the word "behind." Lex says he's offering the senator a heads-up. Lex cocks his head a bit after he and Bo stare each other down, and then exits for real. Close-up of the phone statement. The Metropolis area code is up in the 785. But it's entirely possible that Luke Duke has hos in different area codes.

At the bar built for the purposes of seeing the titties, Lois is changing behind a scrim that's only there to show a silhouette of her changing. She puts on what appears to be two distinct G-strings. Two G-strings? That's N-string! She whines that she'll never ask Chloe for another favor again. Chloe says Lois isn't doing this for her. Do it for the dead stripper! Surely she had a heart of gold. Or some semi-precious metal. Chloe -- who's just lounging around instead of helping with Lois's outfit -- says that they need to find the truth. Lois says that the last person who found out the truth ended up a hood ornament. Well, she already had the headlights for it. A blonde girl trying to rock the Jessica Alba Sin City cowgirl look walks past Chloe. "Howdy," Chloe says. Chloe pretends to confide that her friend, Lois, is excited about working at the club, but that she thinks it's dangerous. "Especially after that girl was killed and everything," Chloe adds, not very slyly. The cowgirl's expression changes from glazed to annoyed. "How can I explain this to you?" Seems like there was a rough cut made here in her lines. "Don't talk to me. Don't talk to any of us." She leaves in a huff, which is not easy to do when your ass is hanging out of chaps. Lois appears, but we only see her from behind and from her shoulders up. "Well?" she asks. "What do you think?" Chloe, beaming, says, "All I can say is...God bless America!"

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