Full Faith and Credit

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 1 USERS: B
Full Faith and Credit

In his room at the Grand Central, Con is...wait for it...happily chatting post-coitally to the actress, Claudia. Come on, now. Am I going to have to start writing these recaps from the shower?! Huh? Seriously, Claudia is with me, too -- she's laying there looking all depressed and grossed out while Con goes on and on about Leon remarking on her well-stacked "front porch." Aiiieeee. She sits up, skeeved and sad, and says it's time to go. Con massages his herniated johnson, commenting that "in a few days, we can do this again." Say, if I was to pour Listerine directly into my ears, would it cause me to forget that any of this just happened?

Joanie and Charlie are doing a little role playing back at his place. Oh, not like that, now, come on. She's practicing her speech to Langrishe. "Mr. Langrishe, I couldn't possibly consider your offer," she says, testing it, "unless you would agree to building a new schoolhouse, at your expense, for Mrs. Bullock and the children." Charlie says he can't imagine why anyone would turn that down. Joanie is worried, though, that Mrs. Bullock might not want a new building. "People are strange about things, Charlie," she says, when he protests. Charlie says he'll check with Martha about it. Joanie puts on her gorgeous hat and leaves, satisfied.

Bullock is having what has to be the worst of his many irritating, scary days as sheriff. He returns to Nuttall's with Hostetler and suggests to Steve that they all go to the hardware store to talk. Steve, of course, can't even imagine SHUTTING UP for the five seconds it would take to walk there, so he refuses. Thus begins a tirade of him further screwing himself while Bullock tries to arrange a fair deal for him. "No one's here to fuck you, Steve," Bullock says, and I wish he'd print it on a t-shirt, "if you'd just quit running your mouth." Fat chance. Hostetler summons all his strength to thank Steve for his good care of the livery. Steve can't take it, though, and smarts that he can't understand what Hostetler is saying without Bullock translating from "ape." This does not sit well with Bullock, who smacks Steve in the mouth and clenches down on his neck and tells him not to insult Hostetler again. Hostetler goes on, though it pains him, saying he'd like to pay Steve for all the work he's done and that he'd be willing to keep him on, if Steve is interested in the job. "Look at him, gritting his teeth, holding onto his fucking nose!" Steve spits. "Don't you do me any fucking favors, Hostetler! I didn't ask permission of anyone to look after that stock, and I'm not gonna start with a fucking n*gger!" Bullock, still holding the man's shirt collar, just has to look away. I mean, you know he wants to kill him, so he's got to be on the brink of saying the Serenity Prayer right out loud up in the No. 10.

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