Quantum finally finds some aliens he can't poison, disrupt, or use to make Trip great with child, but he still has major issues with them. They're Touchy-Feely Vulcans (read: Romulans, in three hundred years), and one of them touchy-feels T'Pol some mind-melding roofies and lands her in sickbay with one mother of a love hangover. Trip tells a square dance allegory to his Vulcan tag-along, and Reed learns about Vulcan sexual practices. Maythither-And-Yon literally has only one line, and Hoshi must've tripped right into that tricky sub-space anomaly, designated "Minor Cast Member."
Ceremonial Jig Of Joy in Mathra's honor for going out at 10:30 PM to pick up two -- count 'em, two! -- Figs' Pizzas just because I had a craving. And, no, it wasn't that kind of craving, because he got me a bottle of Raspberry Stoli as well.
Cpt. Quantum -- in an attempt to appear lovable and boyish, but coming off as annoying and immature -- shows T'Pol his astronomy primer. He gestures at the cover image: "The Arachnid Nebula. Whoever thought I would get to see it in person?" he says, pointing at the same image on his laptop. Quantum prattles that Enterprise will be reaching it shortly, and T'Pol flips open the primer and sees the bookplate. "From the library of Admiral Jonny Archer?" she quotes, nevermore. Quantum grins that he had "high hopes" when he was a runter. "Yeah, too bad for those 'high hopes' that he's going to fall victim to TPTB's reset button before he gets promoted," Mathra snorts, handing me over a glass of Pimm's and lemonade. Pimm's season already? Well, it was sixty degrees today, so it's definitely getting there. Reed beeps in with breaking news that there's a ship approaching them at impulse, and Hoshi has identified their hail as "using a Vulcan frequency." Quantum turns to glare at T'Pol. Yeah, everything Vulcan is ALWAYS HER FAULT.
Bridge. Quantum looks at the ship through the view screen and comments, "Doesn't look like any Vulcan ship I've ever seen." And certainly, it doesn't look like any Vulcan ship we've ever seen. T'Pol confirms that it's a vessel class that hasn't been used for a number of years. A rather plumpish Vulcan captain with a serious case of hockey hair videos in and asks if he's reaching "the Earth vessel, Enterprise." Quantum confirms that he is, and introduces himself. Rather stiffly, I might add, and not at all like the usual "yo ho ho and a bottle of rum" attitude he displays to nine out of ten aliens they encounter while reaching for the stars. "My name is Tavin, captain of the Vahklas. It's very good to meet you," Tavin says cordially. Mayshowers-bring-April-flowers turns with an astounded look to Quantum, who -- say it with me now -- furrows his brow.
God help me, I think I like the song.
Quantum has recovered his John Wayne attitude and strides about the bridge saying, "I get the feeling you weren't sent out here by the High Command." Tavin tells him they're a civilian ship on a mission of "exploration." Quantum sniffs that he thought exploring wasn't quite the Vulcans' cup of Ceylon. Tavin says he'd love to get into their deepest and darkest, but his systems are in desperate need of a Windows 2158 upgrade first, and can the amiable crew of the Enterprise help them? Aw, they're the Vulcans of Quantum's dreams!