Veronica Mars
I Know What You’ll Do Next Summer

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...And It's Going To Bug The Hell Out Of Me

In the other room, Keith exasperatedly fields a call, and then we cut to the sheriff's station, where he's telling his crew that they just learned of the 09's seventh home burglary in the past thirteen days. It's nice of them to give us a slow pan across the deputies, just so we can be crystal clear that Leo isn't there. And no offense to the hardworking force, but he would really be upping their looks quotient here. Seriously, though, you hire him in Episode 17, and he's not around in 18 for this storyline? Keith says that in six of the seven cases, the burglars stole a car from the victims as well, but in one case they retrieved the car, and its plates had been switched with the blah blah this is getting boring. Keith deploys his men; end of story.

In the exam, extras are struggling. Just because you can't talk is no reason not to learn to read, kids. Veronica, however, is merrily zipping through the test...

...and then she's out in the courtyard, in which a job fair is in full swing. VMVO says that as far as the job she's waiting on goes, she "would have been better off buying a lottery ticket." Well, I can see why you're staying away from them, Veronica. I mean, you dated two of them, and things ended in tears both times.

Veronica quietly enters the radio booth, wherein Apollo is telling his story. Apollo looks a bit like a young Tony Todd, so there's another name I can't say five times while looking in a mirror. Piz waves to Veronica but motions for her to keep quiet as Apollo says that due to the brainwashing he endured, he was left with "not just the ability, but the appetite, to kill." Yeah, not loudly interrupting him is probably the better part of valor here. Piz takes over and tells us that Apollo dedicated his book to his adviser at Hearst, who just happens to be in the booth with them. Apollo smiles as he says there would be no book without her, and we learn that they knew each other before he came to Hearst -- she read a short story he wrote when he was fifteen, she called him, and she's been his friend and mentor ever since. Just so I don't forget to mention it, good red herring here -- I was sure there was going to be a nefarious side to this relationship. Piz kicks it to the professor, and she graciously and sincerely says that Apollo has taught her much more than she's taught him. And what good is a literature professor who doesn't know how to assemble an assault rifle?

After the show, Veronica calls Piz a rock star and threatens to throw her panties at him. He counteroffers autographing her with a Sharpie instead, and you know what they call that? Chemizzzzztry. But we can forgive Piz for being the only eighteen-year-old at Hearst without total focus on sex, as he tells Veronica he got offered a sweet summer internship with the crème-de-la-crème of internet music review publications. Working for the best of the internet review sites? That's got to be embarrassing. ["If I'm thinking of the right allegedly creamy internet music review publication, he should hope he's being paid by the unintelligible word." -- Miss Alli] Veronica is genuinely thrilled for Piz, and gets no less so when he tells her the job is in New York. She hugs him, and he looks shattered. Okay, Piz, I've liked you all season, but seriously? This is your dream. Maybe have some passion for it independent of your perception of whether your girlfriend of five minutes is sufficiently sad about your temporary separation? Sheesh.

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Veronica Mars

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