Veronica Mars
I Know What You’ll Do Next Summer

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...And It's Going To Bug The Hell Out Of Me

At the sheriff's station, some guy is telling Keith that the homeowners' association of which he's a part is suggesting they bring in Vinnie, "see what he's all about." He's all about unmitigated opportunism and the jacket label that's the biggest combo of retro and uncool in the world. Am I painting you a picture? Sacks brings Keith a folder, and after a quick look, Keith asks "Carl" what kind of home security system he has. Upon hearing the answer "Safehouse," Keith suggests, "You might want to replace it." And sue them for false advertising to boot!

Logan catches Parker in the quad and says he wants to talk about the surf trip. Parker: "Kissing is cheating. And what I don't know? Will hurt me!" Hey, Parker, what happened to the old standby "What happens in [location] stays in [location]"? The example in this case would be "South America." Well, another example would be "Logan's ass," but that's where the staying part becomes more figurative. Logan invites Parker to come with him; now that he's thought about it..."I have to process things. That's just what I'm like." Very true. Of course, said processing usually occurs when he's nursing bloody knuckles, a raging hangover, or both. Anyway, Parker squeals and hugs Logan, who's playing a zero-sum game with her in the happiness department.

Veronica catches the girl Apollo was with earlier, who tells her that Apollo is avoiding Veronica, but the girl sympathizes with Veronica's position, and when she sees Apollo again, she'll work on him. Veronica smiles in gratitude and takes off...

...to see the adviser, who says she hasn't seen him and is starting to worry...

...and then Veronica's out at the job fair, where she approaches a tent with a sign that says "African Student Alliance." It's being manned by the aforementioned Zeke, who tells her he and Apollo don't talk anymore. Veronica says she knows, but she's down to her last option, so Zeke, in a lower voice, tells her that Apollo's adviser was the one that wrote Soldier Of Misfortune. "He knows it, and he knows I know it." I'd ask if he knows you know he knows, but I don't want this show to turn into an episode of Friends at the eleventh hour. Veronica asks if that means Apollo told his adviser his life story and she wrote the book based on it, but Zeke tells her no: "The stories in the book are true for many others. They simply didn't happen to him! He was never conscripted." Veronica looks floored as we head to commercial, and I don't blame her. I mean, lying for profit, Veronica? Well, you never!

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Veronica Mars

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