Game of Thrones

Episode Report Card
admin: A- | 9 USERS: A
You Need Me on That Wall!

Sansa, Arya, and their minder are at a meal. Let's say it's dinner. Arya has a knife, but instead of cutting up her food, she's using to stab the table over and over again. I'm not sure she's any more well-adjusted than Joffrey, frankly. I think a proper young lady is probably a little less... stabby. Sansa is ignoring her by concentrating on her cross-stitch or something. It's probably cross-stitch, right? Ned enters to try to get in a bit of fathering. He gives Arya royal toy, but it turns out to be a doll, which she is offended by. She hasn't played with dolls since she was eight, apparently. I forget how old she is right now, but let's say it's ten or so. Arya runs out of the room, giving some lip service to the idea that she has to ask to be excused. Ned sighs, "War is easier than daughters." Is this going to turn into a show about raising children?

In her room, Arya pulls Needle out so she can wave it around and pretend to be killing people. And sisters. Mostly sisters. There's a knock on the door, and she shouts "Go away!" But it's her father, so she opens the door. She still has her sword in her hand, which is a little aggressive in my opinion. When he asks whose sword it is, she defiantly answers, "Mine!" But she lets him take it anyway. Ned recognizes the mark of his own blacksmith, but Arya won't tell him where she got it. He tries to tell her that ladies should play with swords, but she insists that she wasn't playing. Also, she doesn't want to be a lady. All she knows about swords is Lesson One ("Stick 'em with the pointy end," remember?) and she isn't even sure who she wants to stab. But she knows she wants to stab someone, which is a good start. It's important to have goals. Her real problem, as she reveals to Ned, is that she asked the butcher's boy to practice with her, so she blames herself for his death. And also Lady's. And also, she hates everyone, particularly the king, all the Lannisters, and Sansa. Ned tells Arya the facts of life, which are that Sansa is going to marry Joffrey someday, which means that she can't take sides against him, even when he's wrong. Another round of "Winter is coming," and Arya is willing to admit that maybe she doesn't actually hate Sansa. I think she's the only one, though. Ned says they're in a dangerous place, and gives her back her sword. "Try not to stab your sister with it," he adds.

There's a crow at Bran's window, but if it's supposed to be foreshadowing, it's late by at least two episodes. Bran is still in bed, but he's got an old lady to tell him stories. She says that all crows are liars, which reminds her of a story about crows. Bran is sick of her already and claims to hate stories. She's not the sort of person that can be stopped just by somebody's outright hatred, so she promptly segues into a story about a little boy who hates stories. Bran likes stories about scary things, which is exactly the sort of thing that scary storytelling ladies like to hear. So it turns out that fear is for "the long night," which is when White Walkers move through the woods. And that night lasts hundred years and there are pale spiders as big as hounds. That sort of thing. Robb comes in and tells her to shove off so he can talk to Bran. He starts off with a story about how we're all living inside the eye of a blue-eyed giant named "Macomber." Great. Anyway, Bran doesn't remember anything about his fall. Robb says that Bran never falls, but he pretty clearly does. Also, Bran is bummed out about being doomed to a life without legs, and he'd rather be dead. Bring back the crazy lady!

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Game of Thrones




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