Game of Thrones

Episode Report Card
admin: A- | 9 USERS: A
You Need Me on That Wall!

Tyrion has some good, manly repartee with Yoren, who's one of the longer-time members of the Night's Watch. Their discussion largely centers on bear testicles. Apparently the recruits are mostly pickpockets and thieves, although a few are highborn lads looking for glory. Benjen picks a fight with Tyrion, asking, "The night's watch a joke to you, Lannister?" He seems angry that half the recruits will die north of the wall, and that they'll do so in order that plump little lords like Tyrion can enjoy their afternoons in comfort. Tyrion is unaffected by this, asking, "Do you think I'm plump?" Tyrion claims he has great admiration for the Night's Watch but he doesn't believe that giants and ghouls and White Walkers are over there. Benjen tells him, "You've never been north of the Wall, so don't tell me what's out there." Then he flounces out, "going below" through the tunnel. Yoren is going to King's Landing to pick up a handful of prisoners and Tyrion wants to travel together. He promises Yoren nothing but the finest castles and inns! Hooray! Tyrion has the ability to completely ignore somebody being outraged at him, which is something he has in common with his brother Jaime.

The handmaiden gives Daenerys language lessons and grabs her breast. Is that part of the lesson? She asks, "When was last time you bleed, khaleesi?" Ah, she's pregnant already. According to the handmaiden, "It's a blessing from the Great Stallion." I thought it was Khal Drogo, but okay.

Outside that tent, Jorah is engaging in manly repartee with one of the Dothraki riders. This is a pretty good episode for manly repartee. I have to include the word "manly" right there, because otherwise you'll be imagining Noel Coward exchanging airy persiflage with Oscar Wilde. This isn't that sort of repartee. This is the sort of repartee where Jorah says a scythe is a good horseman's weapon, but broadswords are better for going through armor. The rider refers to armor as "steel dresses" and thinks that both armor and giant swords will slow you down, and that speed defeats size. He asks about Jorah's father, who turns out to be a man of great honor. Oh, and Jorah betrayed him. The handmaiden comes out and announces that the khaleesi would like a change from the horsemeat. How about a nice rabbit? There aren't any rabbits around here. Ducks? Nope. The rider offers to kill a dog, but Jorah earns his keep by stopping that plan. The handmaiden announces, "The khaleesi have baby inside her," so Jorah decides to have one of the goats killed. Goats are both delicious and adorable. They're the perfect companions! He also tells the rider that he has to ride somewhere on his own, then he'll catch up. Hordes are easy to find, so it shouldn't be a problem.

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Game of Thrones




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