Glee

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Attack Of The Singing Bush Baby

Another slushie makes its way through the halls of the high school. Once again, Rachel gasps and prepares to take a face full when it approaches her. This time, it actually is being held by Puck. But he doesn't toss it in her face. Instead, he tells her he picked it up for her when he was buying some dip. Which I hope to God they're not selling in the school. Also, Puck had better stop chewing if he wants to marry me. Puck hands Rachel the slushie and tells her it's grape: "I know that's your favorite, because the last time I tossed a grape one in your face, you licked your lips before you cleaned yourself off." And then he asked her if she'd like to work on some mash-up ideas.

And then we cut back to them sucking face on Rachel's bed. Puck's V.O. tells us that he was surprised at how easy it was to get Rachel to make out with him: "I guess she's kind of desperate." We see that Rachel is imagining that she's making out with Finn. I'm imagining that Finn is making out with Puck. When Rachel opens her eyes and realizes that she's not making out with Finn, she freaks out and tells Puck she can't do this. He doesn't understand why it would be wrong for a couple of hot Jews to make out. But she thinks that if he's not man enough to sing a solo, he won't have the strength to put up with a high-maintenance drama queen such as herself. Puck: "Are you questioning my badassness? Have you seen my guns?" He rolls up his sleeve to show off his muscles. I damn Rachel for all eternity for putting an end to the gun show, as she tells him that while his arms are lovely, she doesn't see a future for the two of them.

Music room. The entire Glee Club is there when Will walks in and asks if anyone has a mash-up idea to share. Nobody has anything, except for Puck (and his guitar), who has prepared a "personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon." And then he sings "Sweet Caroline" in Rachel's general direction. Rachel is smitten. Finn is jealous. Santana is sickened. Quinn is ... hard to read. At the end of the song, everyone cheers. And Rachel nods to Puck, I guess telling him she can now see a future for the two of them. [I'm still confused about how him performing "Sweet Caroline" solo is a mash-up. But he's so pretty, I'll let it slide. -- Angel] Commercials.

Finn and Quinn walk down the hallway, wearing enormous sunglasses. They blow smoke up each other's asses about how normal and healthy it is to want to be popular. And then they turn the corner and find half the football team waiting with slushies in their hands. And then the other half of the team surrounds F&Q from behind. One player asks Finn if he's thirsty. Finn: "Sure, thanks." I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- dumber than a flock of Palins. So the entire team throws slushies at Finn and Quinn. And at a couple of bucks a slushie, that is a relatively expensive cruel prank. Finn tells the guys they can't throw slushies at him. The only player with lines tells him it'll get even worse if he doesn't show up for practice on Thursdays and quit Glee: "Bros before hi-hos." What could be worse? Are they going to throw solid chunks of ice and bottles of syrup at him? As the players walk past Finn and Quinn, one of them slips on the slushie residue and falls on his ass. It's the little things that make me happy.

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Glee

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