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Attack Of The Singing Bush Baby

Sue's Corner. "I've heard people say 'That's not how I define marriage.' Well, to them I say, 'Love knows no bounds.' Why can't people marry dogs? I'm certainly not advocating intimacy with your pets. I for one think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling. So 'woof' on Prop 15, Ohio. And that's how Sue 'C's it." Sue throws it back to the anchor, and he throws it to commercial. During the break, Rod the anchor spritzes some Binaca as he approaches Sue. He's undeterred by her rather hostile declaration that he still smells of Scotch. Rod: "You know, Sue, there's a lot of pressure being a local celebrity. Most women find me intimidating -- the teeth, the hair. It's a lot to take in, and I know it. I need a gal with a little backbone, and I think you just might be that gal." That's where you're wrong Rod -- Sue's got a giant backbone. It's why she's so tall. Sue asks about Rod's wife, and he tells her that she drowned recently. Which means he's got the condo all to himself. Rod and his '70s hair invite Sue out for the perfect '70s date of fondue. And she agrees. Is that a smile I see on Sue's face? A smile not tinged with bitter hatred? I'm a little scared. Come hold me, Puck.

Some swing music starts to play, and we're clearly off in some fantasy sequence, because Sue is swing dancing with Will. And not trying to choke him or kick him in the crotch. But as it ends, we learn that it's not a fantasy. They're laughing and smiling and getting along. Will tells Sue that when she first asked for dance lessons, he feared it was some kind of horrible trap. But she tells him that after a single date, she's in love.

Flashback to that date. Rod peeks up over some kind of barrier. Rod: "E-9." Sue: "You sunk my battleship Rod, and you sunk it hard." Rod: "You know, Sue, I like to swing." Sue: "I could be good with that."

Back at the dance lesson, Sue tells Will that Rod has invited her to the Second Annual Allen County Sickle-Cell Anemia Dance-a-thon. Which is why she asked for dance lessons -- to increase the odds that she and Rod will be able to "take home the blue ribbon, like two heifers in love." The nice-making between these two is becoming sickening. Sue talks about offering compassion to Quinn, and expresses regret for her persecution of Will and the Glee Club. If this is what being in love does to Sue Sylvester, then Rod the Anchorman must die! Fortunately, there's still a germ of cruelty in Sue -- she tells Will that she feels sorry for him, since Ken has ordered the football players to choose between Glee and the team. This is apparently the first Will has heard about the new mandatory practice.

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