Amazing Race
Phil Is A Choo-Choo Charlie

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Over And Over, They'll Be A Fool For You

It turns out that Lena and Kristy battled bugs at the Viking Village. Or Lena did -- Kristy didn't really know about it. As we watch an interview with the sisters, Lena explains about the bugs, which takes Kristy by surprise, since apparently Lena did not share this news so as not to share the upset. "You cheater!" Kristy says with mock indignation, In the cabin, Don laughs as Lena surveys her surroundings and then sprays the bed with bug repellent. I'm not really sure that's a great cure, but then, I have begun to doubt my pest-control abilities ever since I spotted a piece of fluff off my pajamas out of the corner of my eye the other night while watching TV, only to pluck it off and find that it was an extremely large beetle. That will take some getting over, people. I'm still squirming, in all honesty.

We see a bit more of Rebecca's attempt to broach with El Hornio the topic of their ailing relationship. I actually think the most awesome part is right at the beginning, when she rattles off the list of roles she's asked to play -- mother, girlfriend, friend -- and El Hornio claims she has to be "all of those." So, yeah, that includes "mom." So, you know, it's just..."Here, honey! Have some milk and cookies! And, would you like lick my ear?" It's not like she's a lot better, either. I mean, I'm with her when she says she wants her relationship to be with someone who doesn't yell at her, but did she have to throw in "takes care of me"? Because she kind of doesn't look like she needs it, so it almost looks like the helpless act, and there's nothing stupider than the helpless act. As they sit on the pavement later, El Hornio says, "You're making me look like the biggest asshole [I think; the word is actually silenced, and I'm really just gambling] in the country." "You're doing a good job of that by yourself," Rebecca says sadly. I'd buy that a lot more if she were a nicer person.

We are treated to even more falling-down footage from the roller-skiers at the Viking Detour. (Did you know Vikings were heavily into roller-skiing?) It's actually hard to believe there's this much more film of people racking themselves than they initially showed, but it's true.

Old news: Don and MJ take off with Hornio's car. How will it end? HOW?

Commercials: I will love Dennis Quaid until the day I die, no matter how weird it is. Have you seen The Big Easy, people? It's a really good story. It has nothing to do with the part where he's all, "That? Or that?," which I am not even thinking about, let alone thinking about and turning red.

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Amazing Race

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