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Laz 'R Us

Opening credits. Commercials. Mentos now come in a box instead of a roll, which doesn't make for as many opportunities to use one of those "Is that a Mentos roll in your pocket?" jokes.

Smallville Medical Center, again. Or as I like to call it, "Fucking Hell." Some sort of case worker -- who looks young enough to be taking her mom, an actual social worker, to Show and Tell -- is leading Brotherman to a waiting-room seat. Don't they have an office or conference room that would afford them a little more privacy? Clark and MamaKent are talking. Clark tells his mom that the boy has no family. His parents died in a car accident when he was little. This town is full of orphans, isn't it? MamaKent asks who's going to take care of him. Clark says he has an uncle in Germany who apparently didn't find the situation worth traveling over until the brother died and will be there in a few days. Clark brings up foster care. MamaKent refuses to let the system try to work its bureaucratic magic, and tells Clark that the boy can stay with them for a few days. Clark asks about Bo Duke's surgery. MamaKent gives him an annoyed look. "I overheard," says Clark. MamaKent says that Bo's not sure he's going to have it yet. She's going to speak with Dr. Hibbert (called, officially, "Dr. Scanlan" on the show, a reference to one of the producers, Tim Scanlan). Clark bursts into action: He goes to Bo Duke's room.

What is this? ER? Bo is sitting up in bed in a flannel shirt gently touching his titty as he eyes a heart brochure. "What's a 'blood'?" he thinks, blankly. Clark walks in on Bo as Bo puts it away, as if he's been caught with cardiovascular porn. Bo says he's sorry to hear about Clark's friend. Oh, they're not friends. They just met right before the opening credits. Clark says that Brotherman is in shock. Pouting, Clark says that's what happens when the most important person in your life is gone. Oh, cheer up. I'm sure Lex'll be around soon. Clark says he knows about the surgery. A little broken ear crutch told him. Clark asks if Bo is going to do it. "It's not quite that cut-and-dried," says Bo. It's actually moist and not yet sliced up. Bo says that there must be a way around this. A heart monorail, maybe! Or a toll road to the upper thigh. Clark says that the doctor didn't make it sound like there were a lot of options. Bo gets after Clark for his damnable eavesdropping. "If you'd stop trying to protect me from this, I wouldn't have to," whines Clark. Bo looks like he's going to smack Clark, but instead he just has a teeny tiny heart attack inside and grimaces. Clark doesn't want to be lost like Brotherman. Clark asks his dad to get the surgery. Bo mists up. He tells Clark to tell MamaKent to start filling out the admissions paperwork. Clark beams. Yay! Open-heart surgery rules! Clark hugs his daddy tight. Bo tells Clark not to worry. You know, it's just cracking open his chest and re-routing all his plumbing. No big, son. Bo says he's not going anywhere. Not without them re-working the opening credits, he's not.

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