Episode Report Card
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Laz 'R Us

One illegal flight later. Ha, Clark has on a helmet in the helicopter. I thought he was afraid of heights. I believe Clark can fly! They're flying over the blue city of Metropolis. "What is this place?" Clark asks the pilot. They paid him cash. He asks no questions. They land on a shady building. Hey, it's Vancouver! Clark gets out of the helicopter and it leaves him behind. Clark spies a steam pipe on the roof and uses his inner ear crutch to listen to what's going on inside the building. We zoom through the pipes and find....

...Lex Luthor chatting with Dr. Poonie Tang in the lab. "So this is where you were deported to?" he asks Tang. "I can only imagine the moves you used to sway the immigration officer." Lex is so dirty to her! She asks how he got past Security. Lex used the family name to open these Luthorcorp doors. Lex goes around looking at the lab equipment. He picks up a vial that's just sitting around. "Now, this looks familiar," he says. Life juice? Just laying out? Oh, man, Clark's inner ear now looks like it consists of a butt-crutch. Seriously, go back and look at it again. His crutch-butt is vibrating. A lot. Poonie Tang takes the vial and puts it back. She says it's a very delicate substance. Poonie tells Lex to leave, or she'll tell his father. "Can't you just send me to the principal instead?" Lex asks. They need to get it on. Seriously. Lex says she turned down his offer of funding her research, and that she'd better start talking about this platelet cocktail or he'll make sure she's on the next INS (there is no INS anymore, incidentally; it's Homeland Security) to Pyongyang. She looks scared. Lex says he doesn't think they like North Koreans doing illegal research on American soil. Ooh, topical!

On the roof, Clark finds a door.

Back in the lab, something whooshes into the room, rustling papers. The sample disappears. A monkey screeches! Screech, monkey, screech! Poonie asks what Lex just did and where the sample went. Lex looks magically curious. We go to commercials.

The Alamo trailer. Hey, a friend of mine is one of the pretty Mexican ladies in that commercial!

Medical Center. I say a little prayer for me. In an operating room, Dr. Hibbert refrains from giggling as he prepares to watch Bo get sliced up the center. He wants two more milligrams of potassium fluoride. Not for Bo. He's snacky and just wants a banana. Oh man, Bo's chest got shaved. They're putting some iodine on it. Stings, don't it? The incision! Ouchie!

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