Season Finale

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Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors

Next morning they, per Randal, meet up "at a little café in New York" and have a lovely preparatory talk about their experiences and their parting thoughts before the last Boardroom. They grin at each other after every fake code word, like how they keep calling it a "thirteen-week process" and all that fake reality-TV conceit stuff, and it's cute. Randal asks the difference between Rebecca then and Rebecca now, and (still with the fried brain) she immediately calls upon the power of the ankle. But her reasoning is cool: that something "so in your face" and out of her control really could have killed her, but that she learned she can face that stuff. Valid. Randal sees her ankle and, like every week, raises her a dead grandmother, and Rebecca praises him on how, going through that, he carried himself "with so much dignity and integrity" throughout the thing, and says she respects that very much. Somehow they've managed to take the worn-out ankle and grandmother stories and conspire to make them real again, and I'm impressed and have a lot of respect for them about that stuff, all of a sudden. You know how you hear one awful thing and you know it's bad and you feel bad for the person, but then you hear it ten times and you start thinking up horrible jokes about it? They've effectively reversed that process. Especially impressive when it's the ankle. They toast each other, themselves, these laughing, these radiant people, these beautiful, successful, strong people, this Final Two out of millions, over a balcony breakfast in a magical New York morning, sun coming out, they toast. To victory.


…Nope. Somewhere Old Yeller's fixin' to foam all on the mouth. The guys are packing up their stuff for the last Boardroom, and Randal interviews (cross-apply with the whole "this is all for Trump's benefit" deal above) that this is "the last opportunity to show that I am the next Apprentice." Rebecca interviews (cross-apply to Rebecca's love affair with her own intensity and how her name is a killing word) that she comes with hands empty but for the "characteristics" that have "driven" her to this point: "Drive. Passion. Intelligence." ("Lamborghini, motherfucker!") And but also "the attitude that nothing is out of my bounds." Randal feels he has "more experience" and brings "more to the table," while Rebecca claims "broader business experience than anybody -- including Randal." Randal mentions his 3-0 record and the respect of everyone in the suite, and the fact that every draft involved stealing him away. Rebecca notes that this will be the "toughest Boardroom of all the Boardrooms ever," and the music threatens cataclysm. They respectively glide and hobble out and down to the Boardroom, where Robin tells them to sit down on the couch and wait for a long, long time. Randal looks fantastic, by the way -- this red satin pocket square matching his tie, and a pinstripe suit.

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