Apprentice
Season Finale

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Lesson Thirteen: People Aren't Metaphors

Credits. That's the exact swagger! He imagines himself in these very credits now when he walks, I think. I'm going to do the same thing from now on. And I do love watching that opening walk, it's quite purposeful. The brain, knowing this is the last time I'll see Rebecca Jarvis really, gets hyperfocused on her swagger: she looks beautiful (if weird, with the two legs), she's got one hand in her pocket, and the other one's...clenched with purpose, determination, and the will to be the best. And in the interests of equal time, Randal's beautiful smile is blinding.

The music thrills us back to the final task. It's midnight, and Joe Piscopo is a problem. Toral, being quite positive, suggests going for someone "bigger than Joe," and James worries about money. Toral points out that there are numerous comics that'll do it for free, and Rebecca says one of many brain-fried dumb things she'll be saying tonight: "For a good cause, sure, but...this is Yahoo!" To which Toral replies, without even a sliver of bitchery in the voice, "No? This is for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation?" Again, Toral's on top of it. She and Mark are really getting hero edits in this task. I'm having a whole Remember The Umeboshi/"How You Remind Me" moment here, because she's pretty awesome in the last three hours of this unending season. There's gotta be a pill I can take. But you know, we never really got to see the two of them actually working, did we? Not really. Bitching and moaning and being creepy and all Switchblade Sisters with each other, but not actually working, and if it was like this -- "What about this?" No, because of this. "Good point, what about this?" Good call! -- their bizarre synergy makes a lot more sense.

Rebecca interviews w/r/t the Piscopo bullshit that "of course" she's upset, but that rolling with the punches is "what life is all about." She tells Chris and James to start calling improv theatres in town. Improv theatres? In New York City? You're kind of looking for a diamond in the haystack there, aren't you? While Rebecca makes really adorable, exaggerated faces into the phone, and James starts gearing up for when Chris will inevitably step up and just be the emcee himself, Chris pulls out a nickel and throws it in any possible direction, instantly producing a nearby improv comic like the nickel is magic.

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Apprentice

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