Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Need To Exfoliate More

In the sewer, Sam tells Dean that the shape-shifter didn't just look like Dean, he was Dean, "downloading [his] thoughts and memories." Dean asks, "Like a Vulcan mind-meld?" I thank the Lord for the pre-marital sex that has left me unable to understand Star Trek references. Sam posits that the shape-shifter needs to keep them alive in order to get all this interior information. Meanwhile, Dean has struggled out of his ropes and has gone to Sam to get him untied. Sam says they have to hurry to Blondie's, and we cut to them emerging from the sewers. Sam says they need to alert the police, but Dean stops him: "Whoa! You're gonna put an APB out on me?" Sam just shrugs, and I guess that's how the SWAT team gets involved.

At Blondie's, the fireside chat about Monster Civil Rights continues. The camera has gone handheld, so we know some sort of attack is imminent. NotDean tells Blondie that he understands the shape-shifter's loneliness: "All he wants is for someone to love him." I have to take a moment here and cry over how that's all Frankenstein's monster wanted and how humans were so, so very cruel to him. That just kills me every time. Blondie does not seem to be having this similarly literary moment, but is instead starting to look like she's worried about what kind of crazy she just let inside her house. NotDean starts getting desperate, asking for human touch. She tells him he should leave. NotDean pauses, leans in, and whispers something in her ear. She jumps up and screams, "You are disgusting! Just get the hell out of here!" It's so killer that we have no idea what he said to her. This is another great scene; really creepy. I think they really went for it here, the underside of Dean's charm figured as totally vain and misogynistic in this near-rape scenario.

Blondie backs away from NotDean, who starts advancing on her. She says she's calling the police, and then moseys on over to a phone in the same room as NotDean. Lady, take off running and lock the door behind you! NotDean starts going supernatural, his movements jump-cut edited so he's all zappy. He is disarmingly calm as he walks slowly toward Blondie, who's leaning over the phone. He rips the phone from her, she screams and turns to run, he knocks her down and straddles her on the floor, roughly grabbing her arms and yelling at her to "Shut up!"

Quick cut to a metal chain dropping heavily onto a pile of ropes, and the camera pans over to Blondie, bloody and tied to a chair. NotDean says, out of frame, "You're a nice girl, Rebecca." The lighting is cold and blue. Blondie's eye-mask is shoved up on her head like a whitebread do-rag, so she's rocking an unfortunate Axl Rose hairdo. NotDean tells her that her niceness "makes this harder" just as he brandishes a shiny, scary knife. But, now, why does this thing kill women, again? I mean, I hate to interrupt the exciting awesomeness of Jensen Ackles being so very bad, but I'm not totally clear on this thing's motivation. Is it just because he's rejected and forlorn? I guess that works, but...still lots of unanswered questions. How does it pick its victims? Is it somehow drawn to happy couples, wanting to break them up? Is it sexually frustrated? Why doesn't it kill men as well? I think the writers should have brought all this subtext a bit more to the fore. Just as it approaches Blondie to kill her to death, we hear a door get kicked in (or a gunshot or something) and Blondie starts squawking. NotDean puts his hand over her mouth and really exaggeratedly shushes her as the bass line of that moany Filter song starts up and I am instantly transported back to college, eating Gumby's cheese sticks and watching that one X-Files with Giovanni Ribisi and Jack Black where Ribisi plays the slow kid who can control lightning kind of just like Powder, which reminds me of when my now-husband dressed as Powder for Halloween and I dressed as a mummy, wrapped in toilet paper, and at some point during the house party we were at, my then-friend/now-husband and I were hanging out in the kitchen and he leaned up against the stove and somehow tripped the gas burners and I was also leaning against that stove but realized it just in time and got away and for the rest of the night I would hear people I didn't know talking to each other saying, "Hey, did you hear the mummy almost caught on fire?" And this is all due to a Filter song that I don't like and never have. Thanks, TV!

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