Episode Report Card
Alien Nation

MamaKent is in the Kent kitchen, telling someone on the phone that they know how she stands. On two hot legs! She says that their budget issues shouldn't get in the way of a single classroom. MamaKent, wearing a smart red business suit, thanks the person on the phone and promises that he or she won't regret whatever it is they just decided. Clark walks in. MamaKent is all jazzed. Clark is surprisedthat she's home early. MamaKent says that a vote was delayed, but that it's a good thing, because it gives her time to shore up support. She asks if everything is all right. Is it ever with Clark? Just then, a man appears at the door -- a young Latino deputy. MamaKent opens the door and asks if there's a problem. The deputy says that a motorist saw a "Latino boy running across Highway 54. He might be an undocumented worker." That's how white Kansas is: one Latino boy running across the road is cause for a manhunt. Quick, get him! He could get into the water and contaminate us all! The deputy asks whether Clark or MamaKent has seen anyone. MamaKent says that she just got home, and asks Clark. Clark looks guilty as hell, and says it's an awful lot of trouble to catch one person. One out of twelve million , to be precise. "Not if he's in the country illegally," says Deputy Token. He asks to search the farm. Clark asks whether he really has to search the property. MamaKent says it's fine, because they have nothing to hide. Clark offers to go with the deputy.

The Barnness of Anne Frankitude. Clark says that there doesn't seem to be anyone there. Deputy Token says that they have to be thorough. Clark says that the kid isn't hurting anyone, so why not let him be? Token says that he's just doing his job: "If you want to get into the country, you have to do it the legal way. Like my parents did." Did they do it around the time when amnesty was granted in the early 80s? Because that would be very different, dude. The deputy asks Clark to give the cops a call if he sees anything. "Will do, Deputy," Clark lies.

Once Token's left, Clark x-ray-visions a metal closet and sees Javier's skeleton sitting inside. Clark opens the doors. The deputy didn't think to look there? Javier asks how Clark knew he was in there. Clark credits his extensive hide-and-seek experience. Javier asks why Clark didn't nark. Clark says he knows what it's like to be out of place, explaining that he's not from around there. "Where are you from?" Javier asks. Clark says that it's a lot farther than Mexico. The Netherlands? Pretty Peopleland? Clark says that he needs Javier's help. All the workers were afraid to talk at the farm, except one. Clark shows Javier a piece of paper on which he's transcribed what the old dude said: "Arbol Grande 5." I'm amazed that Clark spelled any of that right. He asks the boy to translate. Be especially careful to translate "Grande" and "5." "Big tree five," says Javier. Wow. Awesome. This show is blowing my mind, man. Javier says that there's a huge willow tree at the farm. Clark says that he'll check it out, and tells Javier to stay there. Clark turns to see MamaKent, looking as mad as her red suit. "You're not going anywhere, Clark," she tells him. She looks horrified. Illegal boys! It's awful!

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