Survivor Season 1: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments

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Striking It Rich a Second Time

Greg's segment is up next. We see him against the mountains of Colorado. Is it wrong that Greg scares me a little? Especially his audition tape, in which wearing a big black wig and doing handstands. He talks about ethno-biology. The tape jumps a lot, so either he edited it himself, or the producers thought it was too long-winded even for the DVD edition. In his interview, he's got a big scraggly beard that looks as if he's using the Cast Away Home Beard Kit. We are shown Greg using his coconut nature phone. Colleen seems very annoyed by Greg's using his imaginary phone. In fact, everyone seems annoyed. Gretchen says that Greg is very good at manipulating the group, and people don't even realize he's doing it. "In his own way, Greg is the leader," Gretchen says, presumably before she was booted. We see a funny scene where Greg yells and cusses at people for counting chickens before they hatched. Greg, you're funny, but you're also so gone. At tribal council, Greg is voted off, and Sean's idiotic alphabet strategy is shown for the first time. He tries to explain it. My urge to kill rises and falls. "You're a conniving clever little snake," Sue says, in explaining her vote, "that I'm gonna be so happy to see out of here. So just consider this the shovel chopping off your head." Psychotic Sue, table for one. Greg's famous wailing, crying exit is next. Probst seems annoyed, yet amused in spite of himself. Greg sobs on his way out. He sobs right through his closing remarks. Then he clears up and smiles. "An excellent game," he begins in a British accent. Then he talks about the nature phone. Lots and lots of jump cuts, so he must have rambled for hours. "Did Colleen and I have sex? I just can't answer that for you," he says. "It seems that your camera should know better than I do myself. Did we?" he asks. Profound, yet stupid.

Sean's famous "fat naked fag" comment is explained. He tells Gervase that Rich had the idea for a calendar called the "fat naked fag" calendar with Rich climbing rocks and whatnot. Sean is totally dishing and Rudy says it would sell very well to the queer demographic. This is so an attempt to get Sean off the hook for his reunion-special comments.

Rich's birthday is up next. Sean seems disgusted. Colleen laughs. Gervase puts on his game face. We finally see Rich's fat naked ass without the blurry effects. So white. So round. A zoom in on the butt crack. A lot of rehashed material from the original show. That's all we get.

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