Lost
The Hunting Party

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Michael's Got a Gun

Speaking of those guys, they're still standing around staring at Hairy Man as a nice hearty fire roars between them. Locke asks how Hairy Man knows their names and Jack blurts out that he took Walt. Hairy Man just says that Walt's fine and that he's a very special boy. That may be, Hairy Man, but you just totally ooked me out right there with the way you just Jackson-ed out and said "special boy." Ew. Jack's all, you said you wanted to talk, so talk, dammit. This irritates Hairy Man, who asks how long they've been on the island. "Fifty days," says Jack. "Oooh, fifty days!" says Hairy Man with a note of derision in his voice. "Why, that's almost two whole months!" Judging by the amount of facial hair on this guy and the all-encompassing film of dirt all over his chest, I'd say that he passed the two-month marker quite some time ago. Also, introduce yourself to a bar of soap, there, Pigpen. ["And a razor. Amelia Earhart is stuck in your 'beard,' and she wants out." -- Sars]

Hairy Guy launches into this bizarre analogy where he equates the plane crash survivors to guests going over to someone's house for the first time, and if you were a first-time guest, would you take off your shoes and put your feet up on the coffee table and walk into the kitchen and eat food that doesn't belong to you and open doors you have no business opening? I…no? I guess not? Huh? He goes on to quote someone who said something about how man has been blessed with curiosity, and does Jack know the other one about curiosity? You know, and the cat? And the getting killed? GET IT? "This is not your island," says Hairy Man, "this is our island. And the only reason you're living on it, is because we let you live on it." Well, technically, Hairy Man, unless you were around back when the earth was known as Pangaea and you were a little bit of plankton that started out clinging to the shores of what would eventually become Australasia, I don't think you can really call it your island. You're an island-crasher just like the Lostaways, you just crashed here first. I'm just callin' 'em like I see 'em.

Jack kind of smiles in an evil sort of way and says he doesn't believe him. Hairy Man's like, "Which part don't you believe? The thing about the curiosity or the thing about this being our island?" Jack doesn't believe that there are multiple Others. He thinks there's just one other guy out in the jungle with a gun and that if Hairy Man had any real strength, he wouldn't have had to send Ethan, the spy. "That's an interesting theory," says Hairy Man. "LIGHT 'EM UUUUUUP!" Suddenly, more than a dozen torches light up in a circle around the clearing. So much for that idea, Jack. Also? Way to taunt the hillbilly.

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Lost

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