Hey, it's Lane and Rory walking down the street. Lane tells Rory that some girl at school is trying to be her friend again, even though she gave her the "patented Keith Richards circa 1969 'don't mess with me' vibe." You know, I imagine Daniel Palladino has this little chart with all of the characters' names on it, and he goes, "Lane. Lane. Hmm...Music references. 1970s. Obscure rock." And he's got this list of all the characters he created that other people haven't been using in their scripts, so he just plugs them in all over the place in this episode. You'll see. Lane adds that she threw in the "thousand-yard Asian stare" as well. Lane and Rory stop when they see fire trucks and police cars swarmed around Cardigan Man's store.
The policewoman is asking Cardigan Man to calm down. Bootsy, the newspaper man I had hoped was a one-time thing, is behind Cardigan Man, repeating all of his lines, but with an angry tone. Cardigan Man yells that a crime was committed right in front of his store. The policewoman says that there's no proof of a crime yet, and that nobody has a record of any crime reported. Aren't there only two police officers in all of Stars Hollow? Why would all of these people come out, anyway? They'd know that the two of them didn't go down there and chalk out a dead body. This subplot is so lame, y'all. Cardigan Man asks what he's supposed to do now that he's got a dead body out in front of his store. The policewoman tells him that he's only got a chalk outline in front of his store. Bootsy says that now there are two crimes. Someone killed someone and then stole the body. "It's open and shut!" he says. "Bing, bang, boom!" I hate Bootsy. Why is he here? The policewoman asks Cardigan Man whether Bootsy is his son, and Cardigan Man gets just as outraged as I am.
Lane and Rory walk up to the police tape and find CuteDean. Doesn't anybody have a cell phone in this town? CuteDean says he just walked up to the crowd "and this is what [he] found." Great detective skills, there, Dean. CuteDean says he told Cardigan Man that this all looked fake, but that Cardigan Man didn't believe CuteDean. Rory says that CuteDean has such an honest face, too. CuteDean says that maybe Cardigan Man doesn't love him as much as Rory does. Lane tells them to get a room and walks off. Bye, Lane. Miss you!
The policewoman tells Cardigan Man that this was just "an elaborate prank." Elaborate? It's two pieces of tape and some sidewalk chalk. Cardigan Man asks how someone gets a hold of police tape. "Kids have their ways," the policewoman stereotypes. ["We have a roll of police tape in the house right now. It's not hard." -- Wing Chun] Rory then stares across the street and spies the very guilty Jess standing there laughing, practically holding up an "I did it!" sign; for some reason, Rory is the only person who can see him standing there. Jess also has incredible aural skills if he can hear them talking across the street. Rory ponders what she's going to do about this new boyfriend of hers as we finally fade to commercial.