Gilmore Girls
The Ins And Outs Of Inns

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Mamma Mia!

Luke is working on a toaster as Mia, Lorelai and Rory pour in. Mia says that the place hasn't changed a bit. As Luke runs over in pure joy to greet Mia, Lorelai explains that she pretty much changed everything about the place last year when she painted it and got Luke to buy all new things for the renovation, but nobody is listening. Mia and Luke share the longest, warmest, strangest embrace. They're practically kissing as they talk to each other and the way this show lights everyone in the dark, it comes off as really creepy. They keep holding each other and talking as she calls him "Lucas" and he asks if she knows anything about toasters. She doesn't, so he tells her to sit down while he gets her some coffee. They all sit. Lorelai asks how Santa Barbara is. Mia says that it's horrible and that the "damn sun shines all the time out there." Rory says they've written songs about that. Mia says that half of her wardrobe is obsolete now. Lorelai starts to ask whether she can have some coat of Mia's she covets, but Mia says no before Lorelai can complete the question. Jess walks over to Luke and tells him he's making the toaster worse. Why did Luke go back to fixing the toaster, anyway? Lorelai tells Mia that the kid is Luke's nephew. Luke says he's "Liz's kid," as if that makes him less of a nephew. He introduces Jess to Mia and tells Jess that Mia owns the Inn. Jess grunts in understanding, and Luke says that means "Nice to meet you" in "Slacker." Are we still calling it "slacker"? I thought we moved on to "punk." Jess realizes he's not needed and leaves. Luke apologizes, and Mia says that she remembers what Luke was like when he was Jess's age. Suddenly this Mia woman has been around all of Luke's life, too? Then why didn't Luke and Lorelai meet when they were younger? Mia tells Rory and Lorelai all about Luke as a boy, how he helped people carry groceries for a quarter a bag, how he used to skateboard, and how he wore a Star Trek shirt every single day for a year. Luke tries to write off the shirt as a gift from his aunt, but Lorelai has already seized on Luke's Trekkie status, and won't ever let it go. Ever. Mia asks whether she said something she shouldn't have. Lorelai says that it's okay, but that she'll have to cancel everything she had scheduled for the next three months because she'll still be laughing her ass off.

Cardigan Man storms into the diner and announces that he needs to talk to Luke. He's done a thorough investigation of the prank and has concluded that Jess most likely did it. He's a quick one, that Cardigan Man, I tell ya. Luke, of course, doesn't think that Jess did it. Lorelai explains to Mia that the town is too boring to have a real murder, so they had a fake one. Rory tells Lorelai that she's just one "Beam me up, Scotty" reference away from making a real one happen. Cardigan Man says that three people saw Jess out that night skulking and lurking. Another person saw Jess walking out of an Arts and Crafts store carrying something that appeared to be chalk. Couldn't Cardigan Man go one step further and ask the Arts and Crafts store guy what Jess bought? And how does someone spot chalk in a bag? Cardigan Man asks Luke what he's going to do about all of this. Luke says he's not going to do anything. Cardigan Man says that he speaks for the Stars Hollow Business Association, the Stars Hollow Tourist Board, the Stars Hollow Neighborhood Watch Organization, and the Stars Hollow Citizens for a Clean Stars Hollow Council. Luke: "All of which are you." Luke says that he's going to pretend Cardigan Man never came around. Cardigan Man warns Luke that there are going to be a lot of unhappy people at the S.H.B.A., the S.H.T.B., the S.H.N.W.O. and the S.H.C.C.S.H.C. Luke counters, "F.I.N.E." Cardigan Man grumbles and growls and gives a good double fist-shaking complete with a "Why, I oughta!" and walks away. He stops when he sees Mia. He says hi and she says it's nice to see him. He walks out the door. Mia says she can't get action like this in Santa Barbara. "I miss the small-town theater," she says. Um, have you ever been to Santa Barbara? It's small-town, and I got an eyeful of strange theater while I was there. Mia reminds Lorelai that it's almost been exactly fifteen years since Lorelai showed up with Rory in her arms and asked for a job. Mia says that Lorelai had no experience, recommendations or skills, but that she had a "who cares" look in her eyes, so Mia gave her a job. She says the other maids hated her. Lorelai moans that they were so slow. Rory and Lorelai moan that Mia doesn't come around enough and that they miss her. Mia says she's not needed. The Inn is running very well and is practically Lorelai's inn now. She says she'd be lost without her. Rory and Lorelai get all guilty until we go to commercial.

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