Three Stories

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
Something For Everyone

Cuddy finds Stacy in the hallway. Stacy tells her that House is requesting to be put in a coma so that he can sleep through the pain. Cuddy says that they can do that, which is convenient. I wonder how much that kind of thing costs. There are a few things I wouldn't mind sleeping through. Stacy asks what will happen next, and Cuddy says that they'll be monitoring his condition "closely," and I hope she means closer than, say, they were monitoring him when his leg initially started to hurt or when he had to figure out himself that he was about to go into cardiac arrest. Stacy says she was asking as House's "health-care proxy," meaning that she can legally make decisions for House if he can't make them himself because he's, say, in a coma. "You should talk to him," Cuddy says. Stacy says she knows what House wants. She also knows that once he's in that coma, it's about what she wants instead.

Cuddy shoots House up with some coma drugs and tells House that he'll be out in less than a minute. House thanks her, and she steps aside. He tells Stacy that they can go golfing together when he wakes up. "I love you," he says. "I love you, too," Stacy says. Then, quieter: "I'm sorry." House slurs that she has nothing to be sorry for, and then he's out. This hasn't been a good run for House, being-right-wise. He was wrong to self-inject himself, since that made everyone think he was a drug addict; he definitely underestimated how much pain he would be in after the surgery and for how long; and he really, really shouldn't have made Stacy his health-care proxy. She strokes his cheek and asks Cuddy for the consent forms for that middle-ground surgery. Cuddy puts a hand on Stacy's arm and tells her that she is saving House's life. "He won't see it that way," Stacy says. Yeah, well, I wouldn't either. What I would see is someone who made a selfish decision to go against my personal wishes because she couldn't stand the thought of living without me at all. Of course, those feelings would come after the initial shock of my coma wake-up surprise of seeing my right leg minus some dead muscle tissue.

The seats in the lecture hall are packed as House says that so much of the patient's leg muscle was removed that the functionality of his leg was "severely compromised." The patient continues to experience chronic pain. House looks at the floor, and an awkward silence falls over the lecture hall. Then StudentCameron pipes up that Stacy had "no right" to go against House's wishes, just like the real Cameron would have. StudentForeman says that Stacy did have the right, as that proxy specifically says. And with that right, she saved her boyfriend's life. StudentChase says they don't know that for sure; he could have come through the coma just fine. StudentCameron says that's all beside the point, which is that it was the patient's decision, not Stacy's. "The patient's an idiot," StudentForeman retorts. Not as much of an idiot as the guy who doesn't see the striking similarities between House and the patient whose story he seems personally affected by and fails to figure out that they're totally the same person. House just smiles and says that patients "usually" are idiots. He then asks when this class ends, and Cuddy suddenly appears in the doorway to say that it ended twenty minutes ago. That's twenty minutes that the hospital's patients have been suffering and/or dying because their doctors are all at a lecture when they're supposed to be helping them. Hey, maybe that's why House's doctors didn't diagnose his clot in time; they were sitting in on an interesting lecture.

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