Amazing Race
What If It Isn’t Sanitary?

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Bolo cheers loudly for Lori at the salt mounds as she brings back a bucket. El Hornio? Still struggling. Lori gets done before he does, and Bolo pronounces her performance "frickin' ass-kickin'." It's barely censor-friendly, and it rhymes. Take that! Next, Hayden finishes. In the cab, she asks Aaron, "How did Kris beat me?" "She kicked your butt," Aaron says simply. And...yes. I mean, it's rude, but what else was the guy supposed to say, especially when she's being sort of bitchy like that, as if there's any reason why Kris shouldn't beat her? Meanwhile, in the Kris and Jon cab, Jon is telling her how great she was. "You rocked ba-a-a-ad," he chuckles. Even Kendra manages to finish the Roadblock before El Hornio, which you can tell he's going to hear about from Rebecca for about a hundred years. When everyone else is gone, Rebecca tries to offer additional encouragement, only to get the "shut up" again. "Lori and Adam started at the same time," Rebecca says to the camera. "It's baffling. That's a girl. Adam's a boy." Is it really that shocking to Rebecca that Adam was beaten in a brute strength competition by a woman who happens to be a professional wrestler? Has Rebecca met Lori? Because Lori could snap Rebecca in half like a number two pencil, and it should come as no surprise that with her zillion-inch biceps, she can carry something heavy faster than El Hornio. El Hornio continues to struggle. Poor kitty.

Commercials. The question that went around the living room where I watched this episode was this: Do you know anyone who has ever seen Center of the Universe? No? Yeah, we didn't either.

El Hornio brings the last basket of salt back to Rebecca. Or, I should say, what he thinks is the last one. It turns out that the guy checking buckets wants El Hornio to produce one more basket before he'll declare the thing full. Rebecca tells El Hornio only to fill it halfway.

Elsewhere, Spazpants is brought to a grinding halt by the traffic. "Why are we stopped?" Jonathan asks impatiently, while...surrounded by a billion other cars. And I'm thinking that's probably part of it, the crush of traffic. Meanwhile, in the Kris and Jon cab, Jon asks his driver whether there's another way to go.

Still complaining about the salt in his eyes, El Hornio brings back the last basket and dumps it into the bucket, and now he's done. In their cab, he says, "I'm physically weak, apparently." "If you'd stop being a wussy boy, then maybe no one would say that." Well, aren't they lovely?

In the Spazpants cab, Jonathan is complaining about how the other teams are very close behind them. But Kris and Jon's cab driver is actually finding a way around the traffic, apparently using the Senegal version of driving on the shoulder, only there's kind of no shoulder. "We got the mack daddy driver," Jon observes. "He's got the stogie hanging out, a little cell phone..." And indeed, the driver looks like a pretty cool character, but that's a cigarette, not a stogie, dude. ["My brother and I call cigarettes 'stogies,' actually." -- Sars] Lori and Bolo are bugging their driver, too, about how they're in a competition and they've got no time for traffic. Nuance and Hayden and Aaron are on the way to the ferry as well, and Freddy is sure that if they can just get to the first ferry, everything will be fine.

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Amazing Race

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