Amazing Race
What If It Isn’t Sanitary?

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And then, in one of my episode highlights, in the back of the Spazpants cab, Victoria says again, "Vite, vite." Jonathan stops, looks at her, and then repeats, "Beep, beep." HA! "No, not 'beep, beep,' Jon," she says. "That's not the word." Yeah. He's a pretty intense competitor, for a guy who is unofficially channeling the Road Runner. In the Don and MJ cab, she's trying to explain that they're in a race, and their driver doesn't seem to care all that much, which is a fairly common reaction, I find. And then you hear the pop. Because Don and MJ, as appears to be their lot in life, now have a flat tire. As their driver examines the tires, MJ looks at a passing car and wonders, "Is that anybody with us?" Indeed, it is -- it's Nuance. "Oh, no," Freddy says with what sounds like genuine concern. "There's Don and Mary Jean...got a flat tire." MJ waves as they go by, but they don't stop. And really, you can't blame them. It's not like they could give them a ride even if they wanted to. Don and MJ look miserably upon their tire.

Commercials. Shut up, Sarah Jessica Parker.

We return to find that not only do Don and MJ have a flat, but their driver doesn't appear to have a functional jack. "We need Bolo to lift the car up," Don remarks. Snerk. Lori and Bolo, on the other hand, are speeding toward the cemetery. "Hurry, hurry, we're in a race," Bolo says. "We must win." In the absence of Bolo, Don and the cab driver cooperate to lift up the car so that MJ can prop it up to be fixed. Once that's done, the driver changes the tire, and then they take off. In the cab, Don observes, "Once again, the fickle finger of fate has...diddled us." A line I still cannot believe got past the censors, who apparently do not know what "diddled" means, and are thinking it has something to do with making an "OK" sign or something. That's the only thing I can possibly surmise. Anyway, it made me laugh and laugh, and it makes MJ laugh, too.

Kris and Jon hop out of their cab at a cemetery, but it doesn't appear that it's the cemetery. "Babe, I don't think this is it," Jon says. Hera, meanwhile, observes in her cab that it's a weird feeling having no idea where she's going. "He could be taking us off to the depths of the earth as far as I know," she says. Somewhere, Jonathan talks down to Victoria. Kendra is also not enjoying the ride, and has noted the unmistakable smell that makes her think they might be driving through sewage. And again, for this, I do not blame her. There's no way I can claim I wouldn't comment on that. I comment on it when I drive past farms, so.

"Isn't it crazy?" Jon asks Kris as they drive. "I know," she says. "I really love it, though. We're so removed from our culture, and...it's enlightening, I think." And yeah, that's a little forced, but I think her coping mechanism in this situation is to refuse to get all skunked and grumpy about it -- I mean, she's smelling the same things as everyone else, and I'm sure it's not like she doesn't notice. She's just not dwelling, which is probably the attitude I'd try to adopt, though I wouldn't be up to it, I suspect.

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Amazing Race

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