Survivor
What The…?, Part II

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Andrew's Own Medicine Tastes Terrible

We swoop back to Morgan, where many little crabs are storming the beach, furious that there is no food for them to run all over. One lizard is standing very still, and at first I think he's doing yoga, but then he dashes off and starts skittering around, so apparently it's more of an aerobic benefit that he's going for. The gathered Morgans discuss the fact that they are currently cooking their last serving of rice. Andrew looks around miserably, and then we get a great shot of a lizard who's all, "Don't any ideas -- I'm a reptile, and we're really stringy. Yuck!" As the tribe eats its meager last meal, Andrew says, "Food, as of this morning, definitely shifted from 'critical' to 'dire.'" He calls the situation "terrifying" and says that he doesn't know what they'll do. Die, probably. A weak-looking Tijuana says that they've now lost the one reliable staple they had, and that she can't help thinking this will adversely affect their performance in the challenges. What, the starvation? Could be.

Speaking of challenges, without any mention of the seamail that brings them there, the tribes meet up at a beach where Jeff is standing. He asks them how everyone's doing, turning to Sandra for a food update. Rather than just say they're doing fine, Sandra continues unveiling a pretty ugly side of her personality by rubbing it in Morgan's noses how much they're eating -- how the members of Drake are eating lots and lots of fish, rice, corn, beans, and so forth. She certainly never misses an opportunity to take her good fortune and roll around in it. It tends to cast a little bit of a different light on her raiding of the Morgan camp so many moons ago. Perhaps Morgan's sense that she was enjoying it a little too much had a better basis than it seemed to at the time. Jeff turns to Andrew, who admits that Morgan has pretty much run out of food at this point, and that they're eating mussels and coconut. That sounds like food to me, but apparently it's not to Andrew.

Jeff moves on to the business at hand by asking the tribes whether they came to this little meeting expecting a merge. Andrew says no, he doesn't expect a merge, nor does he expect "some big buffet" to be revealed. Jeff pulls the double-switch by saying that now that they don't expect a merge, they're getting one. Time to drop your old buffs; we're merging. Tijuana tears up with happiness -- either because she's so relieved to have made it to the merge or because she's so happy that they might actually get food now -- and she and Ryan-O share a hug. Hell, I'd hug Ryan-O, too; I wouldn't even need a merge. Jeff reminds them that, from here on out, all challenges will be individual, and they'll be one big happy family on Drake's beach. Jeff reveals the immunity idol, which is a sword you can hang over your shoulder. That's just dumb-looking, in my opinion. It's very Monty Python.

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Survivor

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