All over the party, people are having an awesome time. Rory climbs up on a chair and thanks everyone for coming, giving a sweet little speech about how she can't wait to meet the boys. Zach thanks her for everything and goes off to get Lane a drink, leaving the two girls alone. Lane says that she was afraid it would never happen, especially considering classic Kim Family grudgefest that went down. This is the first Rory has heard of the fight: "So my mom brokered peace?" Lane: "Hardcore. If not for your mom, we might have gone the way of Pretty Girls Make Graves. They were so young, and had so many killer albums left in them." The thing is, Lane says, her kids are going to need that kind of intervention, too: "You know, when they're hiding Bibles and they can't stand me. So what I want to know is, would you be their Lorelai Gilmore? I guess that's the proper term. I can't think of anyone who'd be better, and plus, you've already got the name." CRYING. TEARS. Sigh.
Lorelai might have cried, too, at the sweet friend moment she sees across the room, if she hadn't been interrupted by Mrs. Kim presenting her with a thank-you gift of...an antique doorknob. Apparently, it belonged to John Adams. Thanks?
Still pondering the symbolism, Lorelai walks up to Sookie and Jackson arguing about the huge number of gifts Sookie has brought for Land and Zach. "Well," Sookie explains, "I felt bad. I'd already promised them all our old stuff from Martha and Davey, and then I had to renege, you know?" Jackson tries to get mad about it, but Sookie -- barely refraining from punching him in the nuts, no doubt -- reminds him that their whole pregnancy thing is his damn fault. Lorelai is thankfully saved by the arrival of Kirk, wearing a captain's hat. She surmises from his idiocy that he has just purchased Luke's boat, and is stunned. Not least because Kirk's calling it the S.S. Lurk.
Rescued again -- this time by Rory -- Lorelai goes outside to hear about Rory's New York Times interview. Rory excitedly explains how awesome it would be to get the internship as one of only four people in the country, but says she can't think about it anymore, especially in light of the recent Logan fiasco. Lorelai gives her a supportive "UGH" when she hears the names Colin and Finn, but doesn't say what actually NEEDS to be said: that Logan running off and not facing his problems and Rory stupidly saying she's sure it will be okay is a nothing more than Christopher/Lorelai history repeating itself right in front of her face. Lorelai is moved when Rory tells her about Lane's asking Rory to be the Lorelai Gilmore to the twins. "Big shoes to fill," Rory says. "Well," Lorelai answers, "luckily we have similar feet." Sweet. Lorelai gets a nostalgic look, and when Rory asks what it's about, she sighs, and raises her hands to indicate Rory: "I just think my first pancake turned out pretty good." Listen, I haven't stopped crying since I saw that first cupcake, so could these fools shut up already and give me a damn break? My eyes are swelling closed!