While Season 2 of New Girl was sheer escapism (albeit, very well-written and well-acted escapism), Season 3 is shaping up to be one that holds an almost unforgiving mirror to what it's like to struggle through the ups and downs of your early 30s. From love (Nick and Jess) to questioning who you are in the grand scheme (Schmidt) to Winston (Winston), Season 3 thus far has aimed more for character studies than hearty laughs. While I can certainly appreciate what episodes like last night's "The Box" are doing, I'm anxious for New Girl to venture a little bit back into sitcom land. Sure, it's nice to relate and be able to see yourself in the characters you love, but I still would like to laugh with these guys again. Until then, here are the do's and don'ts of paying off your debts. (Come on, New Girl, stay off my case about bills! I'll get to them!)
Don't: Go Behind Your Boyfriend's Back and Spend His Bag of $8,000
Look, Jess meant well but the way she went about paying off Nick's debts behind his back was a major betrayal of his trust. Even if she is right that he can't just put his worries in a box and forget about them, she could have gone about this in a better way. It's not that she wants to change Nick, it's that she wants to look out for him and make sure he doesn't burn through money by buying frivolous things at the mall like shoes rather than, say, have a checking account.
Do: Realize Your Girlfriend Has Your Best Interests At Heart and That You'd Do Anything For Her
Nick had a total meltdown about his newfound money that his late father left to him (hand-delivered by a sketchy hired goon, no less). It's no surprise, considering he has so many residual issues with his fathers and ongoing issues with finances. Still, rather than getting drunk in the middle of the day or impulsively deciding to give all your money away to charity or throwing your girlfriend's vintage purses out the window for Outside Dave to claim as his own, Nick ultimately decides to open a checking account and become a better man for Jess. I mean, jeez, they are really laying on the dream guy thing pretty thick, aren't they?
Don't: Try to Become a Better Person for Totally Selfish Reasons
So, it's confirmed that Schmidt is a sociopath, right? The fact that his rabbi (played by guest star Jon Lovitz) had to explain to him what caring for another person means and the fact that after he saved a man's life from a bad bike crash, he only felt good because he could now be seen as a "good man" means he's a very bad man, right? We all have the same fears and thoughts as Schmidt: wondering if we are good people; wondering what the point of being good is when so many bad things happen anyway; what it all means. But I wonder if Schmidt actually wants to be a good man or just wants the good feeling of being told he's a good man. I think it's the latter and, really, there's not even a Douchebag Jar big enough in the world for that.
Do: Call Them Bobby's Pins and Heimlich's Maneuver
Because, in the words of Schmidt to a room full of confused Hebrew school students: "YOLO!"
Don't Finally Get Your Money Back From Nick and Waste It On Schmidt
And definitely not on a $1,900 candelabra that doesn't even have a genie that grants wishes for more candelabras.
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