24

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Friday the 13th, Part XXIV

Somewhere in a relatively private spot behind a chain link fence, Kiefer starts unloading his giant duffel. Among the equipment he unearths is what looks like a big, black, bulletproof mask, which is one scary-ass artifact. Even Kiefer looks a little nervous to have that Jason-meets-Vader puss staring back up at him. But presumably it's less scary from the inside.

Meanwhile, Logan is in the back of his limo, on the phone with Novakovich and telling him not to panic. Which isn't really working, for obvious reasons. "We both knew that Bauer would be a difficult problem to solve," Logan shrugs. Novakovich frets that Kiefer's working his way up the conspiracy. "How long before he gets to me?" I'd say within the next two and a half hours, max. Although that timeline might be shortened if Novakovich leaves the fortress-like U.N. to take a little breather in his hotel suite. Which, naturally, is what he appears to have done. Logan assures him Kiefer won't get to him, since Novakovich himself said Tokarev wouldn't talk. "I promise you, Bauer's never going to know." Is there anything more terrifying than being reassured about something by Charles Logan?

At 1:22:25, the limo turns down a narrow, single-lane street that passes under a narrow bridge, part of an unbroken line of traffic. What an awesome idea for a supposedly secure vehicle. Suddenly, on the curb, Kiefer appears in his paramilitary-slash-Jason gear and starts shooting out tires. Presto, instant traffic jam, and Logan's limo is in the very middle of the underpass, unable to move forward or back. Kiefer raises his rifle and starts slowly zigzagging back and fourth between the stopped cars, already shooting at the Secret Service limo. The agents call for backup while Logan stares ahead in craven horror, all but sobbing, "That's Jack Bauer! Don't just sit there, he's coming for me!" He's a lot less sanguine than he was on the phone a minute ago. The first agent gets out as another tells Logan to sit tight; "We're armored and the glass is bulletproof." Kiefer exchanges shots with the first agent, whom he wounds in the leg. Out gets a second agent. This one-at-a-time strategy they're using against him is a real winner. By now, people in the other cars are out and fleeing to the surface, and Kiefer's only one car away. He knocks the first agent out with a boot to the face, then keeps closing in. He takes a bullet in the vest that doesn't even slow him down. The other agent falls, and Kiefer kicks him unconscious too. There's only one agent left in the car. Kiefer sticks his masked face up against the glass of the backseat window to see Logan for himself up close, which makes him a terrifying spectacle to his target. But only because Logan doesn't pause to think that confirming Logan's presence has the corollary of how embarrassed Kiefer would be right now if he had the wrong car. "Kill him!" Logan sobs. But Kiefer climbs up on the hood and hits the bulletproof windshield with a few heavy shotgun blasts. The agent who was driving just looks irritated rather than scared, like he knows what's coming next and it's all for that complete dick in the back seat. The glass weakened, Kiefer kicks a hole just big enough to fit a tear gas canister. Which he then drops inside, and puts his boot over the hole he made to trap the gas inside. Nice touch, that. Logan and the agent try to tough it out, but have to crawl out eventually. Kiefer goes up and grabs Logan by the scruff of the neck, making no attempt to disguise his voice as he growls, "Mr. President? Get up or I will kill you right here. Move!" He drags him toward a padlocked gate, but if an armored limo and a Secret Service detail isn't going to stop him, what's a padlock going to do? Kiefer shoots it to kill and drags Logan through the gate and out of sight. It's 1:25:23.

1:29:42. Chloe comes up to Arlo, who has indeed found an old address for Jim Ricker under the name Simon Strocker. But then he moved. Fortunately he left a forwarding address, "right here in Soho." A forwarding address? I'm starting to think that Jim's a lot better at acting paranoid than actually being paranoid. Chloe notices a sudden burst of activity around her (even though it's conveyed by showing, like, two guys walking past) and asks Devin what's up. Devin tells her that Jason has requested backup. "Jack Bauer just kidnapped Charles Logan." "Again?" Chloe doesn't say. "How the hell did he pull that off?" Arlo asks Chloe in amazement, as though this is the first time. Chloe looks up at the frosty glass of Hastings' office and says she needs to hear what's going on in there. "Follow me." Oh, good, she's going to get a drinking glass. I was wondering when we were going to see the CTU break room.

Inside, Eden's on the phone with Jason, who tells her they're on the way to the tunnel. "How the hell did Secret Service let this happen?" Eden makes excuses for them, like the show needs their cooperation at this point, and says she's working on getting him schematics for the tunnel. Isn't it just a tunnel? It has one end and then another end, right? By this time, Jason and his squad have arrived, and they run down to the tunnel at 1:30:56. Next to the shot-up limo, none of the Secret Service agents saw anything that could be of help. Or they did, and they just all hate Logan so much they've decided to let Kiefer have him. Jason himself has to look around until he finds the shot-off lock and the open gate. He asks Eden for the schematics, and leads his team in. By now Chloe and Arlo are listening in through a patched in phone, so she hears Jason telling his men to shoot Kiefer to kill on sight. At least she doesn't react like that's news, but she doesn't say "I told you so" to Arlo, either.

By this time, Kiefer has found some underground workshop or something where he can pin Logan against the wall and remove his mask. Wow, he looks angry. He should put the mask back on, it's less scary. Logan cowers pathetically, of course. Kiefer tells Logan about what he got from Tokarev's cell phone. "I know how it looks, let me explain!" Logan whines. Kiefer accuses, "You sent him to kill me, right?" Logan can't cop to it fast enough. Kiefer asks why Logan ordered the hit on Walker, and Logan says he was brought in after that happened, by Taylor. Even though he basically stalked Taylor until she agreed to talk to him, in secret, after "bringing him in" through the back entrance so nobody would see him. Logan yammers quickly that he called his sources in Moscow, who told him about the conspiracy. "I told the Russian delegation I had evidence to that fact and the names of everybody involved, just to keep them in the conference!" Kiefer demands to know what evidence, and Logan says he was only bluffing about that, but it worked. "But you, you were determined to screw things up," Logan accuses. Kiefer socks him in the gut for that one, and Logan admits that while he's part of the cover-up, he had nothing to do with the conspiracy, the terrorist attack, "Or your friend's death. I'm not the bad guy here." Doesn't he mean "this time?" Kiefer puts his gun back up to Logan's throat and says, "But you know who is." He wants the name of the Russian official who gave the order, and starts counting down five seconds. The two more than he gave Dana must be out of respect for Logan's former office. "Mikhail Novakovich!" Logan yells over the counting. Kiefer raises his gun to Logan's face and says, "You're lying," just to make sure he isn't. Logan invites Kiefer to check the rest of Tokarev's phone log for calls from Novakovich. Hearing a noise coming from somewhere, Kiefer slaps a hand over Logan's mouth, which someone should always be doing at all times anyway. "Say another word and I'll drop you right here," he threatens. The cavalry is approaching, at 1:33:53. Kiefer drags Logan into another room and forces him to his knees. "Please don't kill me, Jack," Logan begs. Kiefer hisses in his ear, "If I was going to kill you, you'd already be dead." But he's more than happy to apply one of

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next

24

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP