11:00 AM – 12:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B | Grade It Now!
Kiefer kombustion

Back in Holding Room Two, Soul Patch's time is up. Alberta enters and asks him what he's decided. Just as Soul Patch opens his mouth, some chubby CTU agent enters and tells Alberta that Kiefer's on the phone. Alberta whips her cell phone out of her jacket and takes the call. Kiefer tells her the location of the TerrorKompound and asks her to send in back-up. He also lies and says that he hasn't been in kontact with Nina or Soul Patch. Alberta pretends not to be weakened by the persuasive powers of the trademark Sutherland velvety whisper -- now in professional strength! -- but his klaims of his kidnapped family konvince her to kommand one of her minions to check out Casa Kiefer and find out where the Kieferettes have been since midnight.

The time is 11:46:18 AM. At The Stable Of Sensuality, Kiefer and the Kieferettes wait anxiously for the TerrorVan. Kiefer has a moment with Spawn by the window. They discuss their unfinished chess game while Bride beams warmly at them from her bale of hay. Kiefer's gonna make everything okay -- for Spawn and for Bride. To paraphrase Flannery O'Connor, it's too bad that your loved ones can't be kidnapped by terrorists every day just to remind you how important your family is. The time is 11:48:05 AM.

The time is 11:52:31 AM. Spawn keeps watch, Kiefer keeps watch, Palmer and PMHC keep driving away from the fire. Back at CTU, Alberta is going over the details of the upcoming TerrorKompound raid. "I said I wanted two choppers!" she barks into her cell phone. It's like she's talking about an ice sculpture for her daughter's wedding. Nina and Soul Patch are escorted back to their desks. Alberta gets off the phone and tells them that Kiefer kalled with his location, so the broom-closet twins are now no longer under suspicion due to a lack of aktionable evidence. Nina manages to think quickly enough to look shocked and ask if Kiefer is okay. Alberta is all, "We'll find out soon enough," and gives her the stink-eye of disbelief. After she exits to hole up in the Kiefer Kube, Nina thanks Soul Patch for covering for her. They hold hands and stuff. Aw! But then Soul Patch walks away and Nina makes another one of those ambiguous facial expressions, which could indicate that she is mentally going over the shopping list for a special meal she's making Soul Patch for being such a good boyfriend, or that she's glad Kiefer's okay so she can fuck his brains out later.

Gaines and AsianTerrorMinion revive FauxYork, who tells them that Kiefer is there at the TerrorKompound. Rick, who is standing by the TerrorVan, hops in and drives away. "Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-ck!" screams Gaines, his voice bubbling with extra mucous. He radios the TerrorMinions to warn them about Kiefer, and orders them to seal the gates.

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