Blip blip blip. 24. My name is Kiefer. My wife and this woman I fooled around with from my office are under the same roof. This is the longest day of my life.
Previouslys. Bride of Kiefer still doesn't understand why she's being held in a "safe house." Furthermore, she's pregnant. And she's just konfronted Nina about her and Kiefer's past. LittleTerrorBrother promises FATB that Palmer will be dead by midnight. Palmer goes to CTU to konfront Kiefer, and they both find out who their enemy is: an Eastern bloc terrorist family named Drazen. Palmer tells Chappelle to reinstate Kiefer. HardBoiledWhiteGuy gets strangled at a urinal while on the phone with Kiefer. The following takes place between 3:00 PM and 4:00 PM on the day of the California primary.
Kiefer's still on the line with HBWG, but HBWG is dead. HBWG's mystery assassin searches HBWG's pockets frantically for something while Kiefer is still all, "Hello? hello?" over the phone. Mystery assassin finds something, puts it in his (or her) bag, and exits the men's room, stopping briefly to hang up on Kiefer. Kiefer kalls back, but the voicemail komes on. "Think Kiefer, just think," says Kiefer to his velvety-voiced self. He kalls some guy from the CTU New Orleans office and reports HBWG's disappearance. Milo enters. He's found satellite photos of all of the "back-up shooters." One of them is the guy who Nina met at the clinic, the other one is TakeOnKief, and then there's one who's really unattractive so we're not doing to dwell on him, are we? Kiefer looks them over and tells Milo to forward them to Palmer's staff so they can have a look at them. Oh, and TakeOnKief, whom Milo refers to as "Johnny Cool Guy," is Victor Drazen's son. He's in the Belgrade Special Forces. "Good work," says Kiefer.
Speak of the devil, TakeOnKief -- the luckiest cast member because he always gets to go outside, eat at nice restaurants, and even get laid -- is walking through a swanky L.A. neighborhood when his phone rings. He answers it. It's Faux-licity, telling him that she hasn't left town after all. "What made the Senator change his mind?" asks TOK. Faux-licity doesn't know the answer to that question, but doesn't get suspicious. They arrange to meet up at their hotel sometime in the middle of the next episode…I mean, "at 4:30 PM." TOK gets into a sporty car and drives off. Faux-licity walks back into the Palmer headquarters while a Secret Service guy checks her out with a mixture of suspicion and lust.