24
4:00 AM – 5:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B | Grade It Now!
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The incidental gay sex episode

Previously on 24...Senator David Palmer is the target of an assassination attempt. And his son might be in a heap of trouble. Kiefer -- I mean, "Jack Bauer" gets a police officer shot, but the shooter knows information about the whereabouts of Spawn. Meanwhile Spawn, I mean, "Kim Bauer" has been kidnapped, but manages to get a call to her mom's cell phone before the delicious footage of PMMS being hit by the car is played yet again. Ira Gaines has Spawn now -- she's even got duct tape over her mouth. He makes that threat about "the mall" again. Bride of Kiefer, I mean, "Teri Bauer" has really bad hair. She finds out from the Bostonian homeless woman that one of the girls has been hit by a car. Kiefer narrates about the show being in real time and how this episode takes place between 4:00 AM and 5:00 AM.

In a suspiciously opulent-looking hospital O.R., whose deep moss green tiles and ultraviolet light fixtures are more fitting for a northern California spa than an inner city public hospital, PMMS's X-ray is splashed across the light box and you see all these broken bones and they all spell out "the pain the pain please kill me and end my suffering and shame." All these doctors and nurses are huddled around the X-ray like it's Paris and Diana of Wales was just brought in from that car crash. Oh, and there is one operating table in this room and there are, like, fourteen attending doctors and nurses completely in the zone, trying to save PMMS's life -- you know, the way it always is in inner city public hospitals. And that "blip blip" sound is really loud. Okay, I just have to ask at this point -- what kind of a name is Vicellous Shannon? This actor or actress's name just splashed across the screen as an acting credit, and I can't even look up this name on IMDB; I'm scared at what I might find. What kind of parent names their kid "Vicellous"? Or is this a chosen stage name? I don't even want to know. ["I think that's the kid from The Hurricane." -- Sars] PMMS is wheeled into the O.R., and everyone pitches in to transfer her roofied-out, beaten, nodding self onto the operating table. Someone slips an anesthetic gas mask over her face and dude, her make-up is still together. What is her secret? I hear that putting powder on your lips before applying lipstick will hold your make-up longer, but I had no idea the extent we were talking about here. Her hair has been tied back and tucked under a hospital green plastic cap. This must be what it's like when Liz Taylor gets a face lift.

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24

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