5:00 AM – 6:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now!
Can you dig it?

The time is 5:04:59, and Evil Frat Boy #2 is still lying on the ground with a clean entrance wound to his head clearly visible. Rick sits at his side with his head in his hands. Spawn of Kiefer sits by Rick, playing with some dirt. Ira Gaines enters with a shovel. "See what happens when you lie?" says Ira to Spawn. He hands the shovel to Rick and tells him to bury his friend. Spawn notices a machine-gun-wielding guard posted at the barbed-wire fence and runs over to Rick. "We've got to get out of here!" she says. "He's not going to let you walk away!" Rick is in denial and tells her to shut up.

Palmer headquarters. Kreepy Karl is waiting to talk to Palmer. Mrs. Huxtable enters, still wearing that silky cream-colored robe, and tells Karl to get lost. Kreepy Karl is all, "Your husband asked me to come." Palmer enters. Mrs. Huxtable exits, reminding Palmer that he's got to get ready. Palmer goes off on Kreepy Karl for altering the hospital records to make it look like Theo had nothing to do with the rapist's death. Um, what? According to Reporter Maureen, Theo signed a fake name to the hospital records himself. Karl had nothing to do with it. But now that a week…I mean, a few minutes have gone by, Karl was behind everything. Whatever. Kreepy Karl gets all sweaty like his goose has been cooked and reminds Palmer that Gibson, the rapist, was "white," and if the details of his death were leaked, it would have been the end of Palmer's career. Palmer is all, "I don't want you anywhere near me or my family ever again!" Kreepy Karl is all, "You've never needed me anymore than you've needed me now." Palmer ignores him, so KK delivers a final blow. "Before you finish crucifying me," he says, "save some nails for your wife!" What? Mrs. Huxtable was involved? Jeez! I didn't see that coming, what with all those good-wife Martha-Stewart gestures or the fact that her speech about Keith not possibly being a killer was replayed every week during the previouslys. The time is 5:10:21 AM.

The time is 5:14:49 AM. Klockwise from the top left, AllegedYork watches PMMS being operated on, Palmer sits at his desk musing, and the KieferKopter lands on the roof of St. Mahk's Hospital. Back at the TerrorKompound, love blossoms under the sycamore trees as Spawn of Kiefer grabs a spare shovel and helps Rick bury his friend. Rick gets all pissed off because he doesn't need Spawn's help, but Spawn flashes some boob as she leans over to dig up some dirt. Rick goes over to sit down on a log, fishes a Marlboro Light out of his pocket, lights it, and sucks on it really hard so viewing audiences will think he's actually smoking pot…but if the censors get upset about onscreen drug use, the producers can always claim he's just smoking a Marlboro Light. After a woeful speech about how Rick just got sucked into this mess, Spawn suggests that they get together and figure a way out of the TerrorKompound. Rick picks up his shovel once again and starts to dig. They both dig. 'Cause, you see, Spawn and Rick "dig" each other. Heh.

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