24
6:00 AM – 7:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Rock on, Bride of Kiefer!

At 6:31:25, Kiefer calls Palmer's security staff and demands that he get priority clearance to attend the Palmer breakfast. At first they can't authorize him because he's not on "the list," but Gaines insists that Kiefer insist. Finally, they defer to his CIA-ness and put him "on the list." He hangs up, buries his face in his hands, and caresses the pictures on his desk of Bride and Spawn. Next, Gaines orders Kiefer to call his division head and check himself out to attend the Palmer breakfast.

TerrorKompound. Spawn is hanging out in what seems to be a large broom closet for some reason. She hears the door being unlocked, and starts to freak out until she sees that it's Rick entering. Rick tells Spawn that she was right all along and that Gaines isn't going to let him go. Rick just happens to find a spare piece of chalk lying around -- who doesn't have tons of spare chalk lying around in their storage areas? -- and they plan their escape from the terror compound by drawing a map of the surrounding area on the slate floor. Who knew that Rick was a cartography major? Someone's at the door, one of Gaines's gun-wielding minions, so Rick erases the "map" really quickly and pretends to be raping Spawn. Spawn gets into the charade and even pretends to fight him off. This is sufficient to fool Gun Wielding Minion, who gives Rick another "four minutes" alone with Spawn so he can climax. When they have their privacy again, Rick tells Spawn that he's going to leave the door unlocked on his way out. Um, when did they lock her in there anyway? Judging by the flirtation outside by the basin earlier in the episode, I thought Spawn was free to frolic around the TerrorKompound planning steamy escapes with Rick to her heart's content. They agree to meet behind the shed later and make a run for it. Spawn apologizes for hitting Rick back when he was pretending to rape her. Aw!!!!

Back at CTU, Milo is still having major problems. Nina comes by to see what's up, and Milo concludes that he's now working off a different keycard. "But you've been sitting here this entire time," says Nina. "Who could have switched it?" Milo thinks about it for a second, but hesitates to kast aspersions on Kiefer. Nina is on the same wavelength. They both turn their heads to look up at Kiefer's office.

Kiefer is on the phone, clearing his absence with "the division." Nina enters his office and wastes no time asking for the original keycard back. "Careful Jaaaaaack!" says Gaines. Shut up, Phlegm Lord! Kiefer feigns ignorance…badly. He makes up a story about not trusting Milo -- well, actually, that's sort of a good point -- and hands Nina the original keycard. But as she moves toward him to take it from his hands, he drops it, grabs her by the wrist and pins her the wall with a gun. "I'm sorry, Nina," says sexy, sweaty Kiefer in very same trademark Sutherland velvety bedroom whisper that seduced a Golden Globe nomination out of the Foreign Press Association. "But believe me, I will kill you if I have to!" Kiefer grabs a jacket out of his kloset -- important detail for later, boys and girls -- and makes Nina put it on. "I'll explain everything as soon as we get out of here," says Kiefer, leading her out of the office at gunpoint. And do I even have to tell you that Soul Patch stops them on the way out to ask where they're going? Kiefer and Nina get into the TerrorTaurus. "Where are you taking me?" asks Nina. "Shut up and drive!" whispers Kiefer. I don't want to see Nina get hurt, but we love it when he gets rough with her, don't we? Don't we? The time is 6:37:50 AM.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

24

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP