Day 2: 10:00 PM – 11:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now!
Spawn, I'm going on a trip...

When Soul Patch exits, Bitchelle decides to be PMAA's handler herself, and tells Lesbo-Carrie that she's leaving her to work by herself; she gives LC the number of another agent who can help her if she has any questions. Lesbo-Carrie is all, "But Soul Patch told you to assign someone to watch PMAA." Bitchelle replies that she "assigned" herself. "You're still not comfortable working with me, are you?" says Lesbo-Carrie. "Just do your job," says Bitchelle, removing Lesbo-Carrie's metaphorical hand from her ass and exiting. Meanwhile, in an examination room, Soul Patch and Charisma-Free Agent unpack Syed's stuff. One of these items is an encrypted hard drive. Allah forbid you should be able to plug the thing in and read the contents. No. The hard drive has been encrypted to allow for more minutes of Whatever Technology and suspense.

Norton Airfield. As CTU agents load the B-O-M-B onto the Cessna, Kiefer is on the phone with Soul Patch, asking about Spawn's whereabouts. Soul Patch explains that they've had their hands full lately with the B-O-M-B, and once the plane takes off, they can devote more time to looking for her. "Soul Patch, I'm flying that plane," says Kiefer, explaining that he needs to speak to his daughter because it's the last time they'll ever speak. "There's gotta be somebody else who could fly that plane. Someone who doesn't have kids…" says Soul Patch. "I can't order anyone else to do this," says Kiefer. What? Um, isn't that the point of being in charge? The option to ask people to do shit you don't want to do? I mean, if you're heading up a team of CTU agents and you don't think you can order them around, aren't you in the wrong industry? Isn't that like saying, "Oh, I couldn't possibly ask my secretary to type up any letter that I couldn't type with my own hands!" or "Oh, I couldn't possibly expect that prostitute to sleep with me if I don't intend to marry her!"? Next thing you know, five-star generals will be digging ditches while the GIs lounge around their barracks. No no. Kiefer must almost die this episode, and the drama must be all about Kiefer. No one else will fly that plane. Soul Patch agrees to find Spawn as fast as he can. "One other thing," says Kiefer, and shares the whereabouts of a safe in his apartment that contains a will and a final letter to Spawn. Wow, they're going through with it. He's going to almost die. Kiefer's almost going to bite it.

The time is 10:20:55 PM. Spawn is still hitchhiking along the road. An SUV looms in the distance and slows down. Spawn reaches instinctively to check that she has her handgun in the waistband of her pants. The car pulls up and stops. Behind the wheel is the cougar! Heh, just kidding. It's a sensible-looking woman in her thirties who wants to know if Spawn needs help. Spawn heaves a sign of relief. "I could use a ride," says Spawn, explaining that she was on a date that went sour. The Good Samaritan tells her to get in. Then the soundtrack makes this heaving building chord like we're just all so relieved that a woman picked up Spawn and nothing fucked up is going to happen with a woman. Like a lesbian predator wouldn't stop for Spawn. Then again, there's a lesbian predator working at CTU this "hour," so I can't really argue that there's an under-representation of predatory lesbians on tonight's episode. The Good Samaritan is curious as to why Spawn would be visiting an aunt in San Jose because a date went bad. Spawn explains that it's just too long a story to go into, and asks if she can make a phone call on TGS's cell phone. She wants to call her father.

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