Day 2: 3:00 PM – 4:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now!
Flight 69 goes down

NSA. Roger Stanton, a.k.a. Yulin, is wrapping up a meeting with several other uniformed extras. He notices Rolaide passing by, so he calls her over and asks what's up with Lady Mac getting a special security clearance. Rolaide confirms that Palmer has indeed evoked executive privilege and given Lady Mac said clearance. "You okay with that?" asks Yulin. Rolaide just does that thing that you do in high school when an alpha girl calls you up and says, "Hey, what do you think of Cathy?" And even though you hate Cathy because she's a stuck-up bitch, you go, "Uh, I don't know her that well. She seems kind of quiet." The reason you do this is because you just know that Cathy is actually on the other extension listening in and the whole thing is a set-up to fuck with you…and probably Cathy. So Yulin gives a hearty laugh to indicate that he knows exactly what Rolaide thinks of Lady Mac. Rolaide admits that Lady Mac might become a problem down the road, and if that happens, she'll speak to Palmer about it. "She's his ex-wife," says Yulin. "That's a problem all by itself." There's a problem with the presence of Palmer's ex-wife? Oh, pull up a chair! My last two ex-boyfriends, whom I'm still friends with, just met each other. And guess what? They both just happen to speak Spanish as their first language. Meanwhile, I don't know any Spanish other than the ¿Dónde está el baño? that got me through a trip to Peru a few years ago. It's one thing to have two of my ex-boyfriends comparing notes about me when, say, I leave the room for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. I'm sure that being in a relationship with me can be frustrating and confusing at times, so who am I to disapprove if these two guys want to bond over having to endure my various neuroses. It's another thing entirely to have them compare notes in front of me all night when I can't understand a word of what they're saying because it's in Spanish. And then I can't even really complain, because I promised both of these guys that I would learn Spanish for them and I never got around to it, so my inability to understand them is my own damn fault. That, and the fact that I took Latin in high school because supposedly it helps you on the SATs. And by the way, a dirty secret for all you high school students out there: Latin doesn't help your SAT scores at all. This is the biggest lie ever told. The SATs have a lot of questions on the verbal that employ false etymology. In other words, one of the choices will be a word that you've never heard of before, but if you examine its Latin roots, you'd think that you know what it means, but you're wrong, because the word doesn't really mean what its Latin roots would theoretically indicate. Let's take, for example, the word "homophobia." If you didn't know that homophobia is defined as "fear or hatred of homosexual people" but you knew Latin, you'd probably conclude incorrectly that homophobia is a "fear of men" or a "fear of similarities" because "homo" means "man" in Latin (or "same" in Greek) and "phobia" means "fear or hatred." ETS uses words like this all the time just to fake you out, and if you didn't know any Latin you wouldn't fall into their trap. So my lesson for the week, kids, is this: if you are going to date two people who speak Spanish, learn to speak it while you're in high school or your SAT scores will go to hell.

Meanwhile, Lady Mac is at home in Palmer's office, making calls and sipping coffee. She gets off the phone with someone named "Sandra" (Sandra Bullock? Sandra Day O'Connor?), and Palmer enters. "Tell me about Ron Weiland," says Lady Mac, explaining that the network is looking for their Nosy Reporter and the last thing anyone knew, he was with Palmer. "You didn't detain him, did you?" asks Lady Mac. Palmer is all, "You are here today to help me, not question my judgment." Oh, yeah -- there's that good old sexy sassy repartee that made the Palmer plotline so edgy, fresh, fun, and just plain exciting to watch last season. Lady Mac asks what's up with Weiland again, so Palmer explains that they had to detain him because he was going to go public about the B-O-M-B, and that would create panic. Lady Mac argues that Weiland's detention will create a new set of problems for Palmer, since people are getting suspicious. They should bargain with him instead. Palmer says that Weiland wasn't willing to bargain. "Let me talk to him," says Lady Mac. "One talent you know I have is dealing with the media. And I know Ron."

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