Day 2: 9:00 AM – 10:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now!
Kiefer Underkover

Meanwhile, Spawn is driving the getaway car down some industrial-looking streets on her way to the police station when she is forced to stop for construction. JonBenet whines that her head hurts. Spawn decides to take a detour down an alley. A blue sports car (Ford Thunderbird?) cuts them off at the end. It's DaddyStopTouchingMe. Wasn't his car red last week? "Make him go away!" whines JonBenet. Spawn tries to back up, but a Ford van is behind her. DaddyStopTouchingMe gets out of the car and demands that Spawn give him his daughter back, then tries to get JonBenet to come out on her own. Spawn and JonBenet have locked the car doors, but DaddyStopTouchingMe has the remote, so he can unlock them from the outside. D'oh! Spawn and JonBenet make a run for it. DaddyStopTouchingMe is in hot pursuit, but he slams into a pedestrian and loses sight of them. The girls hide behind a dumpster. Hey, isn't that the same dumpster that Po Ho hid behind when he blew his clients last season? I think it is. Using this set again is either laziness or homage, I can't tell which. DaddyStopTouchingMe calls out for JonBenet. When she doesn't respond, he gets really angry and kicks something.

The time is 09:20:03 AM. Kiefer and the junkyard boys are out behind the auto body shop watching a Crispin Glover look-alike assemble something that looks to be a bomb. CrispinGloverLookalike is suspicious of Kiefer and wants to know who he is. Kiefer swears that he's a friend of Joe's and that he's been away doing time down in a Florida prison. Crispin is suspicious that Kiefer would show up "today of all days," and insists that he check out Kiefer's record. He happens to have a laptop with internet access right there, so he logs onto the Florida prison and looks up Kiefer, who is using the alias Jack Roush -- a shout-out to TV Guide critic Matt Roush? Anyway, this next part is supposed to be really suspenseful and scary, but it's not. While Crispin is logging onto the Gainesville jail website, Darlene hacks into his connection from CTU and plants the necessary information to back up Jack Roush's claims that he served time there. Tension builds while a flustered, panicked Darlene types the information as fast as she can…well, except for the "tension" part. While the internet search is delayed as Darlene types, Crispin and Eddie warn Kiefer that he'll be killed if the information doesn't check out. Now, I just gotta say that I'm as concerned about Kiefer's life as any 24 fan has a right to be, but I refuse to be on the edge of my seat over a web search. Can the new girl Darlene type fast enough to save Kiefer's life? Type, Lola, type! Darlene enters the information on time. Kiefer's life is spared thanks to those magic fingers of Darlene's! Wow, I need a cigarette! Eddie Grant bitches out Crispin for almost making him shoot Kiefer, and apologizes to Kiefer for almost shooting him. They walk away from Crispin and reminisce about a -- ahem --Ford Mustang that Kiefer once owned. Crispin watches them from his komputer, still not konvinced of Kiefer's klaims. The time is 09:24:04 AM.

The time is 09:28:29 AM. Spawn and JonBenet kontinue to take kover behind the Po Ho dumpster, Mason putters around his office, and Palmer pulls KreepyEric over for a chat. Palmer asks KreepyEric the status of the investigation. KreepyEric explains that they might not be able to stop the bomb in time, since they've only had a few hours' notice. He urges Palmer to think about what his plan of action will be if there is a detonation, and makes another pitch for a meeting with the Pentagon. Palmer is all, whatever. KreepyEric exits, and Palmer sits down at his desk. Lynne enters with some bad news. Apparently PressToad is giving a ten-minute live report at the beginning of Episode 205…I mean, "noon." He has figured out that there is a national emergency. Palmer slams his fist into his desk. "Set up a private interview with him in ten minutes," says Palmer. He also sends for someone named "Armus." The name makes Lynne's eyes widen. I take it that Armus is this year's KreepyKarl.

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