Day 3: 11:00 AM – 12:00 PM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Low Noon

As they approach, Saunders seems to twig to what Kiefer has in mind. Spawnders doesn't, so she has to ask why she's there. Kiefer says, "Ask your father. It's up to him." That's cold. Spawnders just says, "Dad?" Way to remind me of Sofia Coppola at the end of Godfather III, there. K4 comes with the explicit threat of putting Spawnders into Inn Fection. Saunders is shaken, but he's denying that Kiefer will actually do it. Spawnders looks shocked and betrayed. She thought they were friends! K5. Saunders tells Kiefer he "can't do this. You're a government agent." Tell that to the guy whose head he put into a bowling bag last season. Kiefer orders Spawnders brought into the building. Special Agent Charlie Brown doesn't look too pleased at having to kill an innocent (if annoyingly passive) young woman, but he sucks it up and follows Kiefer's order with barely any hesitation. Spawnders struggles as Charlie Brown hands her off to the guards at the entrance, while Saunders struggles with his "conscience." The guards drag her into the plastic umbilical while alarms go off and disinfectant mist pours in. Kiefer says to Saunders, "Everything that happens to your daughter is because of you!" Saunders screams at Kiefer to get her out of there while Spawnders screams at Saunders. K6! K7! Kiefer grabs Saunders by the throat -- reaching up pretty high to do so -- and says, "When she's infected, I'm going to make you watch her die." He turns to watch the entrance; one of the guards has his hand on the door handle. Saunders caves, and Kiefer closes his eyes in relief before turning around to face Saunders again. K8 is pretty quiet. Saunders says that each of the vials is tagged with a GPS locator chip, so they can all be found in one episode without doing a lot of expensive location shooting. Or maybe he gives a different reason. All of the codes are in his head. Kiefer is surprised that he memorized all eleven. I think that would explain why he didn't have enough brain space left to think to get his daughter out of CTU's reach before he put his plan into motion. Kiefer orders Spawnders brought out of the tunnel. She's stopped screaming, but I don't think she and Kiefer are going to be friends anymore. It's 11:14:29.

11:18:42. Brother Palmer and Foxton stake out Lady Mac's crib; Palmer stands around, because it's not like the capture and full cooperation of the guy who had him by the scrotum a few hours ago is anything he needs to hear about; and Spawnders appears to have regained her composure, if by "composure" you mean "catatonia." CTU has set up a little workstation outside Inn Fection, including a computer that's tracking the signals coming from ten of the eleven vials. Kiefer wants to know why one signal is missing, but Saunders doesn't know either, since he handed over the right codes. The eleventh courier is in Los Angeles with instructions to release his vial o' virus in a public place. Kiefer dispatches some agents to escort Saunders (New! Improved! Now With 100% Cooperation!) to CTU so he can give a description to a sketch artist. Spawnders is to stay at Inn Fection lest he change his mind. Kiefer then gets Adam the Woman Hater on the blower to have him do a search on Wild Card. Kiefer then asks after Tony's replacement at CTU, and Adam tells Brad Hammond, who has just arrived at the office, that Kiefer's on the phone for him. Hammond jumps to answer it. Yeah, who's the real boss? Hammond's pretty much up to speed on what's been going on, and he reports that the coordinates of the ten known vials are being disseminated to law enforcement, National Health Service, and hazmat teams around the country, so Kiefer isn't going to have to fly all over and chase them down himself. Kiefer gives Hammond the skinny on the eleventh vial. Hammond asks if Kiefer thinks Saunders is telling the truth, and Kiefer says, "Right now he believes we're willing to kill his daughter if he doesn't cooperate." Kiefer, everyone believes that. Kiefer's got another item on his agenda: he wants Hammond to cut Soul Patch a little slack. Hammond refuses. Kiefer reminds us all what went on during the first half of Season One, and Hammond tells him the circumstances were different. Kiefer points out that "the outcome will be the same. We will prevail." Kiefer goes on about how the "operation began a year ago" and Gael gave his life and Kiefer became an addict, like, way to remind everyone of the earlier, suckier parts of the season, Kiefer. Hammond has had all the tongue-lashing he's prepared to take from a subordinate, and he hangs up the phone. He's kind of a hard-ass after all. Maybe we should call him Hammer.

It's 11:21:27, and the agents who arrested Soul Patch enter CTU and parade their prisoner through the office in handcuffs. Potato Face glares at him like a three-year-old told to make a "mad" face. Bitchelle watches through a half-open door, visibly aware that he put himself in this position to save her. Soul Patch gets led into a holding room and uncuffed, Hammer right behind him. Soul Patch asks to talk to Bitchelle, but Hammer refuses. I think that taking Kiefer's call a minute ago used up his entire hourly ration of agreeable. Hammer tells Soul Patch that someone named Plachecki is coming over to take his statement. Would that be the same Plachecki who was supposed to take Spawn's statement two hours ago but never showed up? Soul Patch might be in there a while. Hammer offers Soul Patch a lawyer, but Soul Patch says he did what he did. Hammer drops the bomb: what Soul Patch did is punishable by death. Treason's a bitch, don't you know. If Soul Patch has something against lawyers, he looks like he's prepared to get over it. Hammer lays it out for him: "You facilitated the escape of a man who was responsible for the death of Ryan Chappelle and almost a thousand civilians, and who was contemplating killing millions of others. Then you tried to neutralize the only leverage we had over him by giving him back his daughter." Well, when you put it like that, obviously it's going to look bad in the personnel file. Soul Patch asks for the bottom line and Hammer, glaring at Soul Patch in that "I'm the big, bad boss man doing you a big, bad favor" way, says that even with Hammer in his corner, Soul Patch's best-case scenario is twenty years in prison. I'd hate to see what would happen if Hammer was actually mad or something.

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