Okay, what's up with the "warm guitar chord" at the beginning of this week's promo? You know the one I'm talking about. It's that warm guitar chord they play before the promos of all of the WB family dramas that feature a lighthearted episode later that week. "[Strum!] Mayhem hits the Camden family when Lucy adopts a Vietnamese baby with a penchant for mayhem." "[Strum!] Rory Gilmore has two dates to the Valentine's Day dance!" A 24 promo should never have a [Strum]. Number one, there is no acoustic guitar playing during a 24 episode, ever. Number two, there is no lighthearted but easily resolved domestic tension on 24, ever. If Kiefer and Spawn are going to spend time together, they're not going to have a pillow fight or a bawdy conversation. They don't have time. "[Strum!] Kiefer and Spawn discuss which one of them was to blame for her mother's death four years ago…" See what I'm getting at?
Sutherland Samba. 24. Blip blip blip blip blip. Previouslys. Brother Palmer went ahead and stole Keeler's debate playbook despite Palmer's disapproval, and apparently he's going to drop a bombshell on Palmer about his new girlfriend. Spawn tells Kiefer about her relationship with Special Agent Charlie Brown. Dr. Hazel Mat thinks the V-I-R-U-S is being disseminated inside a bag of coke or heroin. Landlord: You must pay the rent. Mama Diabetes: I can't pay the rent. Landlord: You must pay the rent. Kyle: I'll pay the rent. Mama Diabetes: My hero…hey, wait a minute. Where'd you get that money? Kiefer's trying to quit heroin, but he can't join a methadone program like normal people -- er, "normal heroin users" -- because he doesn't want to go "on record." Gael is in the hizzouse!
CTU. Soul Patch comes down to the floor and has a conversation about the V-I-R-U-S with Adam the Woman Hater. Adam wants to analyze the virus some more, but Soul Patch tells him not to waste his time because the most important thing for the CTU staff to know is that -- listen up, first-time viewers! -- the virus kills within 24 hours, and Kyle Singer is transporting it. Soul Patch also exposits that Kiefer is meeting a woman named Dr. Nicole Duncan, who is the head of Health Services of Los Angeles. They're going to take a team of Hazmaticians over to the Cocaine Condo in order to stop Kyle from distributing the V-I-R-U-S. I guess it's safe to say that if they've named another character "Nicole," we won't be seeing anymore of Nicole Palmer (a.k.a. Li'l Lisa).