24
Day 3: 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM

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The Samba Sutherland pre-show promo plays. Only this time, it's got a "beat box" soundtrack. Is that what it's called? "Beat box"? I'm so out of step with the kids these days. Also? Blue/black likenesses of Spawn are intercut into the promo too.

24. Blip blip blip blip blip. Previouslys. The debate. The excruciatingly boring Palmer subplot. Chappelle takes over CTU, where everyone is trying to contact Kiefer in the chopper to let him know that Kontagious Kyle is no longer contagious, and that he no longer needs to get Hartmano back to his family to stop the V-I-R-U-S. Kiefer and Hartmano land in L.A. and escape to the designated airstrip by land -- or more specifically, in a stolen car. But once they get there, Kiefer is knocked out by Hartmano's men and taken onto the plane; Spawn watches this all take place from Crystal Gael's spy console. Crystal Gael catches her and holds her at gunpoint. I was in Vegas, so the lovely and talented Heathen took over and wrote the recap. The following takes place between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM.

CTU. Crystal Gael's Spy Console. Spawn has been thrown down onto a chair with wheels on it, and Crystal Gael is wheeling her madly across the office. He slaps his hand over her mouth and explains to her that his office is soundproof and that screaming will accomplish nothing. So then why does he have his hand over her mouth? Never mind. He takes his hand off of her mouth, and she breathes really really hard. I think I'm going to like this episode. "What are you doing to my father?" she asks. He doesn't answer her, but instead whips out a giant roll of duct tape and proceeds to tape her to the chair. Considering that he just found her at the console a few seconds ago and has been struggling with her ever since, when did he have time to find the duct tape? Or does he carry it around with him? And if he does, where does he hide it? In the pockets of his black rayon trousers? "Hey Gael? Is that a donut in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me and suffering from massive curvature of your penis?" Or does he wear it around his wrist like a really cunning piece of costume jewelry? Inquiring minds want to know. As he tapes her up, he asks her about the Whatever Technology she's been working on with regards to when she'll be expected back on the floor. With a gun at her head, Spawn replies that she'd normally be done in ten minutes. "What are you doing?" she bleats. "This isn't going to work!" Crystal Gael slaps a piece of duct tape over her mouth. I repeat: I think I'm going to like this episode. As Spawn gasps and moans around her duct tape gag, Gael goes over to the computer and deletes all incriminating data from his hard drive. Then, for some reason, a dialogue box pops up on his screen informing him that these deletions will take almost twelve minutes.

Back on the floor, Bitchelle passes by Adam the Woman Hater's desk and tells him that Soul Patch is out of surgery. "Who is going to be in charge while you're gone?" asks Adam TWH. "Gael," says Mrs. Soul Patch. Ooooh! She orders Adam TWH to make Whatever Technology provisions for the transfer of power. Then they have an expository conversation about Kiefer, who is still missing and was last seen by Chase at the subway station. "I think we're going about this wrong way," says Adam TWH. He proceeds to suggest that they "saturate the media" with news that the V-I-R-U-S is no longer a threat and "maybe Kiefer will get the message." "The president made it very clear that he does not want the public to know about the biothreat," says Bitchelle. "We have to find Kiefer and Hartmano ourselves." Her phone rings. It's Gael. He gives her a Whatever Technology excuse for his and Spawn's momentary absence. She tells him to get his ass over to the meeting in the teleconferencing room, where he can be briefed on how to take over for her while she's visiting Soul Patch in the hospital. They hang up, and Crystal Gael turns to Spawn and shows her a handheld video monitor that is recording her every move. "I'm watching you," he says. "So don't try anything." At the sight of the handheld device, Spawn's eyebrows make this inquisitive "V" as if she wants to ask him how a Nintendo Gameboy is going to alert him to her escape plans. As Spawn moans and gasps behind her patch of duct tape, Crystal Gael changes the access code to the door and exits.

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