Day 3: 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B- | Grade It Now!
"It's the Great Mexican Ambush, Charlie Brown!"

The videotape ends, and Soul Patch asks the president what he thinks. "Keeping me in the dark on a matter of national security is inexcusable," says Palmer. "Where is Kiefer now?" "In Northern Mexico," says Soul Patch, requesting his permission to activate the military interdiction plan now that Jack is setting up the aforementioned meeting between the Salazars and the Ukrainians. The President, resentful of having no choice, reluctantly grants his request. "Even if this plan works flawlessly, you haven't heard the last of this," he says to Soul Patch. Uh, yeah we have. This is 24. No one ever gets punished. They hang up, and Palmer turns to Brother Palmer and bitches about decisions being taken out of his hands. "Some decisions you want to keep as far away from as you can," says Brother Palmer. "Kiefer had no right to keep me out of the loop," says Palmer. "I disagree," says Brother Palmer, reminding Palmer that, although he can always punish Kiefer later, "he did do the right thing."

Back at CTU, everyone files out of the conference room -- Adam the Woman Hater, Spawn, Gael, Bitchelle -- and they all look really pissed. I mean, I get pissed off at work when I'm told that the project I've been working on has been scrapped and all my hard work has been for naught. I can't imagine what they feel like, having just worked their asses off to find Kontagious Kyle when it turns out he was just a red herring. Bitchelle looks especially pissed off, and who can blame her? She's married to Soul Patch and he totally kept her in the dark. Soul Patch asks to set up some Whatever Technology, which she agrees to do before she does the Bitchelle Stomp out of there, leaving Soul Patch alone in the conference room with Chappelle. "I'm not sure this is going to work out well for you," says Chappelle. Soul Patch tells him that he doesn't need him looking over his shoulder. "You work for me," says Chappelle. "You don't give orders, you take them." Soul Patch threatens to tell the president that Chappelle is trying to inject some "bureaucratic squabbling" into the plan. Chappelle backs down, but warns Soul Patch that he'll "be watching." Chappelle exits. Soul Patch grabs his head, still weakened from the surgery. Bitchelle watches helplessly from outside the office.

We return to what the screen now says is "Las Nieves, New Mexico." At Rancho Narcotico, Hartmano is sipping coffee in the fabulous kitchen complete with stainless steel-paneled double door refrigerators and cherry wood paneling. Kiefer and Hector enter. "Are you ready to listen?" asks Hector. "Tell me the reason why the man who betrayed us is now our friend?" asks Hartmano. Hector explains that Kiefer came to them with the opportunity to make "more money than [they've] ever dreamed." He says that Kiefer informed them about a virus created by Ukraine scientists coming on the market. "All dey want to do is make their money and disappear," says Hector. Hartmano laughs at their asking price, which is $100 million until Hector tells him that Al Qaeda and North Korea are willing to pay ten times that amount. Um, isn't the whole point of terrorism that you're essentially this disenfranchised Third World country that doesn't have the same kind of resources that a superpower like the U.S. has, so you have to be sneaky and do things on the cheap? You know? Using American planes as bombs to destroy American landmarks? If Al Qaeda and North Korea had an extra billion dollars lying around, they really wouldn't be considered terrorist Third World groups anymore; they'd simply be viable military forces. Or am I high? "How do we know this virus is real?" asks Hartmano. "The Ukrainians gave us a demonstration," says Hector. Which I guess explains the pile of dead bodies that Juan Voight had to bury, but if all those people were infected with this highly contagious virus, doesn't that mean that the Salazars are already pretty much in possession of said virus? "Kiefer delivered one of the bodies to health services in L.A.," says Hector. "He used it to scare the Americans into letting you out of prison." Okay, another thing. If the Ukrainians demonstrated this other virus for the Salazars and that was what infected the body that Kiefer had dropped of at health services, then why did Dr. Hazel Mat proclaim that it was the Cordilla Virus?

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