Day 4: 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Held Up

Commercials. Okay, that scene in Swingers I referenced a couple of recaps ago? It's now a MasterCard commercial. They didn't even change the names. I don't know how much they paid Jon Favreau to use that scene. But not having to come up with a new idea on your own? Priceless.

10:14:20. Kiefer's career as an armed robber continues, Potato Face tries to get him out of there, and DaD has entirely failed to have a heart attack in the past four minutes. Driscoll tells Special Agent Breck to keep spying on Potato Face, which she does, complete with peeks over her shoulder. Potato Face notices this and decides it's time to call Lispy Skip. She asks him to meet her in Archives. He's confused, but he agrees. I'm-a peel that Potato, he thinks.

They take separate routes to Archives, which isn't even a separate room. It's just another area of the panopticon that is CTU, but it just happens to be behind a staircase. Once they meet, Lispy Skip wants to know what's up. Besides Little Skip, of course. Potato Face has figured out that Special Agent Breck is "piped into [her] system" and that Driscoll must have ordered it. I'd like to pipe into that system, thinks Lispy Skip. No, actually he says that if Driscoll's spying on Potato Face, it must be for a good reason and that he's not getting involved. Potato Face: "I've been in contact with Kiefer. Now you're involved. You're either going to help me or you're turning me in." You think she picked up that finesse from Kiefer? "I'm turning you in," Lispy Skip says before she's even finished talking. Potato Face argues Kiefer's case, but Lispy Skip says these kinds of decisions are not up to them. Potato Face appeals to Lispy Skip's sense of obligation, reminding him of all the help she gave him when he first started. He's still afraid of getting fired. Potato Face says he'll be fine, because she outranks him and she'll take the heat for giving him the order. Lispy Skip buys it, because aside from the wide-ranging computer genius that every CTU office employee requires just to get through five minutes on the job, he's just not that bright. Potato Face tells him to send the satellite repositioning controls to a terminal there in Archives. Lispy Skip heads off to comply. But of course, Archives really isn't all that private, and both conspirators were clearly visible from a walkway above where they were standing. And thus the whole exchange was seen, if not heard, by Aisha. I'm confused about her. I thought she was called in to help with computer stuff, but instead she's spending all her time wandering around and spying on people. Why did they bring someone like her in as a temporary consultant anyway? Obviously she's got what it takes to be a regular full-time employee. ["Or a Camden." -- Sars]

10:16:52. DaD and DoDder exchange another look. Even without it, the fact that DoDder has fixed her hair is an indication that they're up to something. DaD deliberately gets up, goes to the gate, and puts on a little show for the single guard. He's demanding to talk to Poor Man's Robert Davi, and working himself up into quite a lather. DoDder tries to calm him down, which only pisses him off more: "We have to do something! We have to take aaaaaagh!" Would that be the Castle Aaaaaagh from Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Because I don't think either of you is in a position to be storming any medieval fortresses right now. Oh, wait -- by "aaaaaagh," he means, "I'm having a heart attack!" I was confused by the lack of subtitles. He collapses onto the floor. DoDder tries to help him. The most gullible guard in the world, instead of calling for help, comes into the cell by himself, pistol at the ready. As the guard tells DoDder to move away, he turns his back on DaD, whose heart attack comes to a highly convenient end just in time for him to grab the guard from behind. The guard's gun goes flying. "Get out of here!" DaD tells DoDder. Instead of leaving, she grabs a big honking wrench, which she uses to knock the guard unconscious with…a blow to the stomach. I don't know. Now that DaD has the guard's gun, he and DoDder run out of the cell and down the hall, with DaD in the lead. Another guard appears with an assault rifle. DaD takes him down with the pistol, which affords him the opportunity to make a videogame-style weapons upgrade. He tosses the pistol aside rather than giving it to DoDder, which, whatever. I guess we know where this particular SecDef stands on women in combat. DaD cocks the assault rifle. "Still with me?" he asks DoDder quietly. She doesn't say, "Actually, I'm really tired. I'm going to head back to our cell for a nap. You go ahead. I'll catch up." They keep moving. DaD takes down another guard, but then they're suddenly surrounded, outnumbered, and outgunned. Poor Man's Robert Davi tells Dad to put down the weapon. DaD does. "If another one of my men dies," warns Poor Man's Robert Davi, "your DoDder will be killed." That gets scarier every time he says it. The prisoners are led back to their cell.

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