24
Day 4: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: D+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
I Got the Digits

At CTU, Soul Patch is explaining to Bitchelle that a number of our warheads are being moved around due to "daily shift and hide operations." Yeah, maybe it would have been a good idea to cut that shit out for one day, given everything that's going on. Bitchelle says they have the coastal areas covered, but since the Midwest is a primitive backwater where we still communicate via Pony Express, they'll have to get info on that region from the DoD through DoDder. That out of the way, Bitchelle looks about ready to move the conversation to a personal level. Which of course is the cue for heavy footsteps to come clomping up. Everyone knows it's Potato Face before she even steps into the frame. "Am I interrupting something?" she frets. Almost always. Potato Face goes ahead and alerts the bosses that a credit card carrying the name Eric Murphy was just used at a gas station in Torrance, and that Eric Murphy is the alias of a watch-listed guy who's connected to ImhoTerror. She's got archive photos of NotEricMurphy on a pay phone and everything. Too bad they weren't watching him when he met up with ImhoTerror in that alley in Episode 12. Potato Face allows that it's a pretty lucky break. Soul Patch suspects that that's reason to believe it's a decoy, but Potato Face points out that a decoy would give away where he is and which direction he's going. "This was a mistake," she insists. Bitchelle asks for security camera footage from the gas station, which they've already beamed over to CTU with the state-of-the-art security system common to all gas stations. NotEricMurphy is driving a black Lexus whose license plates are clearly visible in the super-enhanced gas station security camera footage. Potato Face promises that "If this guy's still on the road, we'll find him." And then she leaves much more quietly than before, because the Foley guys have had their fun for now. They've got to save something for the final scene.

Bitchelle asks who's in the area near the gas station, and Soul Patch says that Curtis just left Division. Well, that's odd. Bitchelle sent Curtis to Division a few episodes ago, and then he was back without ever returning, and then he handed over TerrorTeen, and then went to Division? Way to keep us guessing, Curtis. Keep it up. You'll live longer. Bitchelle wants a Field Ops team to meet Curtis at the gas station. Soul Patch heads off to make it so.

Kiefer calls DoDder from on board his helicopter. She tells him that 72% of the warheads have been accounted for, but they're having trouble tracking down all the nukes in the jerkwater Midwest. That's because these weapons are on their way to be dismantled, "in accordance with the arms reduction treaty." I suspect that's a little early dig there to draw in the folks who like to blame everything on multilateralists and damn dirty hippies who only want to make the country weaker. Subtle. She adds, "A lot of them were rerouted after the train bombing this morning." Rerouting is good. You know what would have been better, though? Securing the fucking things. You're telling me that 28% of the country's domestic nuclear arsenal was sixteen hours away from the nearest Army base as of 9:00 AM Pacific Time, when it was clear to the general public that terrorists were active inside the country's borders? Bullshit. The DoD screwed up, and I like to think that this is DoDder's fault personally. It's not like her DaD is around to take the blame anyway. Now Kiefer asks about his real concern: his boyfriend. DoDder says that the doctors are having a hard time keeping Grayadder stable. Kiefer promises to be there in twenty minutes, but he leaves out the part about hoping he'll be able to awaken his sleeping beauty with a kiss. It's 12:07:12, and as Kiefer flies through the night, it looks like every light in Los Angeles is back on.

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24

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