Day 4: 12:00 PM – 1:00 PM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Welcome to the TerrorDome

12:17:15. In all three screens, the TerrorDome has effectively been converted into the MarineDome. DaD's back in his suit, which is none the worse for wear after being forcibly ripped from his body a couple of episodes ago. Although he seems to have neglected to get his tie back from the guy he threw it at. DaD's just getting off the phone with Keeler, who wanted DaD to thank Kiefer for him. "It's been a while since you've been in the field, Kiefer. Looks like you haven't skipped a beat. DoDder and I owe you our lives." Kiefer points up the hill to a helicopter that's ready to take them all back to CTU. DaD is keen to find out "who these terrorists are and where they're coming from." You listened to Poor Man's Robert Davi blather for ten minutes and you still don't know where he's coming from? Actually, that's okay, because I don't either. Kiefer promises to keep DaD hooked up to the ongoing investigation with a live feed to DaD's office in D.C.

Kiefer then walks over to DoDder, who has something to tell him. That she's no longer embarrassed to be dating him? No, it's about how she recognized TerrorGringo, but she couldn't place him. Kiefer says they'll put together photos of all the TerrorCorpses and she can go through them at CTU. Kiefer gets a call on his cell phone from the CTU switchboard operator. "It's your husband," Kiefer says. "He wants to speak with you." Kiefer can say so much with a show of neutrality. Here he's saying, "I'm a bad-ass super-agent who can infiltrate a terrorist stronghold single-handedly and survive a firefight against overwhelming odds, but in relationships I'm a total wuss." Kiefer hands the phone to DoDder and moves off to give them some privacy.

Or "privvacy," as the case may be, because DoDder's soon-to-be-ex-husband is British. Now, many Americans think that all British accents are created equal, but they aren't any more equal than British people are. Brits can tell a lot about each other from their accents: where they're from, their social status, where they went to school, and so on. I don't have that finely tuned ear, but I do know what the soon-to-be-ex-husband's particular accent means. It means "doofus." DoDder's been saying since the first episode that her marriage was over long before Kiefer was in the picture, and I tend to believe her, if for no other reason than she got tired of always being called "Orrdrey." We see him sitting at CTU, because he got on a plane to L.A. as soon as he heard what happened. From D.C.? Four hours ago? Must have taken the Concorde. "See you soon," he says ambiguously. DoDder listens to her soon-to-be-ex-husband while watching Kiefer trying to look like he's not trying to look conspicuous, and we're supposed to believe she's torn. Oh, whatever. Kiefer versus Poor Man's Rowan Atkinson? Should have stayed home, Grayadder.

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